


Dark Side of The Moon

by Eravalefantasy



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Dark, Dark Cullen, Dark Inquisitor, F/M, Implied/Referenced Torture, Minor Character Death, Torture, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-09
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-04-19 22:19:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 27,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4763129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eravalefantasy/pseuds/Eravalefantasy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Inquisitor is missing, many have fled and Cullen is to blame. Dorian rips through the fabric of the Veil and the Inquisition is torn in two. What is real? Is there anyone to be trusted?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Speak to Me

Ch 1 – Speak to Me

An uncontrollable panic descended as soon as the disappearance was discovered, all of Skyhold had been turned inside out. Dorian had been questioned and left in a cell. The only reason he still survived was the fact that he was under Bull’s protection. 

Josephine fled with Sera after two days. It was believed they were a part of the plot and sought refuge either in Antiva or Tevinter. Leliana had her scouts searching for them although Leliana believed neither would be found.

 Divine Victoria herself had vanished. The fear that Old Gods were returning began to spread the panic even further.  Vivienne’s various homes were searched with no indication of her whereabouts or destination. Murmurs of assassinations or impending wars circulated endlessly throughout Thedas.

Emissaries sent to all corners of Thedas would take weeks to return.

The King of Ferelden’s messenger essentially told the Inquisition His Majesty didn’t care if Andraste herself was missing her blessed undergarments; they were to leave him alone.

The only conspirator to return was Cullen. Cassandra could not fathom how her hand-picked general had betrayed the Inquisition.

She had tried to be nice and logical. Cassandra tried to plead. Finally, she was left with no choice but to allow the systematic torture of an already broken man. Cullen had endured the fall of Ferelden’s circle, the destruction of Kirkwall, Haven’s avalanche and now the disappearance of the Inquisitor. His dependency on lyrium had aided their cause.

“Where is she, Cullen? Cassandra asked. “We know you took her away.”

Cullen sat in a large chair shackled at the wrists and ankles. “I don’t know what you are talking about. I’ve done nothing.”  Cullen could feel every cut, every knot, and every bruised part of his body. The burns on his hands and feet were numb. Each new injury would mask the pain of the last, by night fall each day he felt nothing.

Cassandra wasn’t the one who would hit him or hurt him. Blackwall and Bull took turns. Bull was far more harsh then Blackwall. Bull had elevated his torture to an art form.

Cullen had begun to enjoy baiting Bull to the point where they had to stop to allow him to heal. With each denial, Bull pulled Cullen’s arms backwards. Cullen waited for the pop of his arm leaving the socket again.

 “You’re slipping Bull- you didn’t pull my arm out. You won’t have to call that _pet mage_ of yours.” Bull growled and pulled until the arm slipped. Cullen cried out and then laughed.

Cassandra tried again. She used a soft tone to try and offset the pain and torture he endured. “Please, where have you taken her? If you just tell me, this will all be over. I promise. You’ll return to your office, to your duties, just tell me where you took her.”

“I did not take her. I am telling you the truth. I had nothing to do with her disappearance.”

Cassandra nodded and Blackwall stepped forward. He backhanded Cullen on the right side. “I’ve had enough of your lies. I want to know what you did with my wife!”

“Your wife, it’s funny how she’s _your wife_ only when it’s convenient. I find it curious how you’re always someplace else at night and not with _your wife_. Let me tell you about  _your wife_." Cullen took pleasure in the wince of pain each time Blackwall’s nostrils flared when Cullen spoke of her. “I know her far better than you ever could, far better than you _ever_ will, her mind, her body - _every inch of her mine_ , old man, while you lay elsewhere. Funny, wouldn’t you say?”

Blackwall roared and pummeled Cullen’s face repeatedly. When he finally stopped, Cullen spat on the floor and smiled. “Is that all, nothing more – _old man_?”

Leliana pulled a chair over to Cullen’s seat. “Just tell me what happened, perhaps this all just a misunderstanding, Cullen.”

Cullen began to laugh. “This is a misunderstanding, Leliana, one complete with torture. What has it been now six days? A misunderstanding you say, quite so. Let me spell it out for you.” Cullen’s cold stare stabbed through Leliana’s own. “Search all of Thedas. You will never find her. Search the Fade, I don’t care. Your Inquisitor is gone.”

Leliana narrowed her eyes and returned his stare. “If that is true, you will not live much longer.”

Cullen mimicked her expression. She had never seen such malice from their Commander. “For your sake, spymaster, I hope so.”

___

Two years prior

It had been a year since the defeat of Corypheus and the Inquisition was beginning to relax in its endeavors, Evelyn included.

Cullen woke up before Evelyn. It wasn’t a rare occurrence. She’d been late to bed.

They’d been together for quite a while, but neither rushing to marry. There were still obligations that impacted them separately, and Cullen did not want to push the issue for now, perhaps in the future. He kissed her forehead and started to dress.

“Hey. Did I oversleep? Do you have to leave already?” Evelyn asked with a small pout.  She waited for his reaction and then smiled at him.

“Ev, I have matters that I must attend to today, don’t.” Cullen laughed and continued to dress.

“Don’t what? I am just asking a simple question. I have to leave for Denerim tomorrow. Will I see you later?” Evelyn was expected to appear in front of King Alistair and his advisors to discuss additional relief efforts for several areas of Ferelden. Josephine, Cassandra and Leliana would join her. Cullen was less than thrilled, as His Majesty had become more surly and difficult of late. Evelyn was one of the few who Alistair enjoyed in his company.

_It’s not just that I’m jealous. Ev says he’s just lonely and has never tried to so much as touch her.  I just don’t want to share her._

She was so very good at teasing him. She knew exactly what buttons to push. “So, later, dinner here, alone, you know I won’t be back for weeks.” Evelyn put her dressing gown on and slipped her arms around his neck.

Cullen moved her hair away from her face. He secretly loved the contrast they shared. Him fair and light, his features he considered less refined than hers. Then there was Evelyn. Her mother was from Rivain, a scandal according to Josephine for a Marcher to marry a Rivaini. Evelyn’s features were more exotic to Cullen’s usual tastes. Her dark brown eyes held his with such velvet warmth; she had only to hold his gaze to convince him to do almost anything. He loved her hair, dark and flowing, the smell of the herbs and flowers combined for her baths were more enticing than any perfume brought back from Orlais.

She was not only beautiful but a gifted strategist. She loved complex puzzles, anything to challenge her mind. Their chess games were legendary, move against countermove often ending in stalemates or Evelyn besting Cullen.

“I suppose I could meet you here around sunset?” Cullen leans in and watches her, he loves this moment, and Ev always closes her eyes just before his lips touch hers. She sighs, urging him further as he teases her with his tongue. His kiss is gentle, a promise of something more, and then she opens her eyes as his touch ends.  Cullen gently brushes her cheek. “I miss you already.”  

He watches she blinks her eyes slowly, her silent declaration of love to him. He returns the gesture and leaves. She exhales sharply and hears him laugh on the way down the stairs.

Evelyn worked to finalize preparations for her journey. Essentially, she was there to ‘hold the royal hand’ while the meetings took place in Denerim. King Alistair had contacted the Inquisition several times for assistance. There had only been one failure. They were unable to find the Hero of Ferelden a second time. Evelyn continued to have agents work on every lead. She knew what her life would be like if Cullen were lost as Elissa was to Alistair.

She knew that soon it would fall to both of them to decide to either continue on the same path together or part ways. He loved her, there was no doubt. There were times, however, that she still feared she was merely a convenience or a distraction. She turned her attention to her schedule for the day.

Dagna and Dorian were working on a project she did not fully understand. She’d been promising to see their progress for days. Evelyn cut through the main hall to the Undercroft.

“Inquisitor! Nice to see you! Have you come to see what we’ve done? It’s amazing if I do say so myself and well, I do!” Dagna laughed.

“Yes, glad you could tear yourself away from the magic loins long enough to show. We’re doing real work here, Inquisitor.”

“Dorian!” Evelyn did not play into Dorian’s usual aggravations at her schedule.

“Please! If this were Cassandra or Bull with some minor detail change to the armory or Cullen and a change to the rotation, you’d scurry along to find out. Your aversion to magic is showing, my dear.”

“Dorian. That’s not true. Please, explain your project.”

“No, I don’t think so. Run along, now, Inquisitor.” Dorian walked away grumbling to himself.

Dorian was hurt. He was right in many ways. Evelyn did not entirely trust the safety of magic or those who wield it. She trusted Dorian and Solas before he disappeared. Only Vivienne, now Divine Victoria had frightened Evelyn. She knew Dorian and Dagna were attempting to expand on several basic principles to create something completely new.

“I’m sorry Inquisitor. Here. I wrote these notes for you. I thought you might have an easier time understanding what we’ve done.”

“Thank you, Dagna. I’ll have time to review these fully on my trip.”

Evelyn assured Dagna she would return later in the afternoon. Perhaps Dorian’s mood would improve.

Evelyn left the Undercroft flipping through Dagna’s report. _Time distortion fields, magic stasis, and Alexius’ work!_ _Dorian was told it was to be left alone_.  Based on these notes, they were trying to create way points for travel. The theory was interesting, using Alexius’ amulet, Dagna was able to create a stable magic field or cage to protect an object as it moved through the distortion. The subject would not end up in the past or future, but just a different location at the exact same time.  It was brilliant. There was still the matter of tearing open the veil each time this was to be used, but Dorian and Dagna seemed to ignore that little problem. Unless Dagna had solved it, and just left it off of her notes.

Then she saw it. It required rift energy or massive doses of magic to work. They were going to ask her to open a rift to feed this little project. That was not going to happen. Evelyn needed Cullen and Cassandra to put a stop to this experiment.

She was so upset she almost walked right into Cole. He picked up her gloved hand and held it. “Please don’t feed it.” Evelyn had taken to wearing the gloves to put others at ease. The anchor would flare now and again, and it still had the power to terrify those who did not know of it.

“He waits for you. I can hear him. He promises . . . things.” Cole said looking at the floor. “I’m not there to help. Promise me you will look to the higher places and I promise I will help here.”

“Cole, who waits for me, someone is hiding in Skyhold?” Cole usually made some kind of sense when he spoke. Sometimes it would take time for things to solidify, but Cole had never been wrong.

“No, not hiding. Not here, the space between. It’s not the Fade, it sounds hollow, not whole. Remember the Moon - one for seeing, one for hiding?”

  _Cole had asked Solas about the moon once. Solas tried to explain that while it looked flat, it was a sphere. They knew that spheres were round. The moon was a sphere, so it must also be round. It was a simple logic puzzle. Cole did understand, but he continued to ask about the unseen side._

_“Cole, look at this coin.” Solas put the coin in Cole’s hand. “Can you see both sides at the same time? Not truly. There is always a side that is hidden. This is not necessary wrong, it is simply the way of things. The same can be said of the moon. There is a hidden side, but it is the same as the one we see now, except that it is hidden. There are subtle differences, known only to those with exact or intimate knowledge of its nature.”_

Evelyn missed Solas, he was always the voice of reason when her companions would end up out of sync. He understood her approach and grasp of logic. He had helped her to embrace the ideas surrounding magic and the Fade.

“Cole, I remember. Explain to me what you hear.” Cole was beginning to get agitated. He only did so when he did not understand what was going on around him. “I hear you in the tower. He will wait with you contented but alone. I hear you in the temple. She helps, but wants it for herself.”  Cole left her standing there trying to make sense of what he said.

First Dorian, now Cole. Maybe it is time to look at the end of all this. The Inquisition had served Thedas well. It may well be time to let it dissolve.

Evelyn knew that Cullen was busy, but Cole’s uncertainty had her concerned. Cullen sometimes had a better way of looking at Cole’s speeches.

Evelyn entered Cullen’s office with purpose. There were several of his captains standing around his desk.

“Everyone out.” Evelyn delivered the edict firmly. Cullen’s head snapped up and looked at her.

“Now is not the best time, Inquisitor.” His expression, a mix of confusion and concern.

“I said, everyone out. I meant it. The Commander will contact you later.” Evelyn closed each door.

“Ev, I love you, I really do, but now is not a. . .”

“Cullen. You need to stop talking and listen to me.” Evelyn threw Dagna’s notes on his desk. “These notes detail a very complex experiment of Dorian’s that needs to end now. Dagna has created some sort of field that might allow someone to travel in the same timeline without a mount.”

Evelyn began to pace. Cullen knew she only did so when extremely angry or nervous. “Now, this is not entirely bad, but they are using Alexius’ magic research, his amulet and the device needs to be charged with rift energies.”

Cullen sat down. “Thank you, by your reaction it seems you follow me so far. So you see the problem? The last time this pendant was used we ended up in an alternate timeline. That was on a small scale. This involves all of Thedas, massive fields. Dorian had warned us about the integrity of time and existence before. I am not a mage, but I can understand the theory Dagna gave to me.”

Cullen said nothing. He was trying to put the pieces together on his own.

“Now, Cole came to see me extremely agitated. He claims that someone is hiding and waiting for me.”

Cullen stood. “What? Give me his exact words. “

Evelyn recounted Cole’s comments, and repeated them slowly. Cullen wrote each sentence, taking care to be exact in his transcription. He ran his hands through his hair. “I can’t think straight - but I know this much.  You’re not going to Denerim. I want guards on you when you are not with me, which is going to be all the time. I need to find Cassandra, Cole and then Dorian.”

Cullen opened his side door and called over one of his men. “Have the Lady Cassandra and Cole brought to the Inquisitor’s quarters immediately. It is urgent. Then have everything here packed up and brought there as well.” Cullen took Evelyn’s arm and started to walk her back to the main hall.

“Cullen, you’re scaring me. Cole speaks in riddles, in abstracts, his ramblings could mean nothing.” Evelyn stopped walking. “I am not going into hiding over a few phrases which _might_ mean that there _could_ be a problem. My immediate concern is stopping this research.”

“I will take care of it. For now, humor me please? Until we can find out more.” Evelyn did not budge. “Evie. It could be nothing.” Cullen only called her Evie on rare occasions, he was trying to make a point. “I know that is most likely is just random ramblings. But what if it isn’t? Eventually, your uncanny luck may run out.” His voice faltered. “I . . . just do this for me, please?” Cullen offered his hand to her. She took it. He silently moved her through the main hall into her quarters.   

Cassandra was pacing near the fireplace and Cole sat rocking back and forth on the railing of the stairs.

Cassandra turned when she heard Cullen and Evelyn climb the stairs. “Cullen, explain this please.” Evelyn sat at her desk and calmly explained her morning. She showed Cassandra the notes. “I do not understand any of this, but I believe that we can stop the experiment under your authority, Inquisitor.”

Cole jumped to his feet. “No! You must not feed it!”

Cassandra scoffed. “Feed what, Cole? He’s been saying that repeatedly.”

Evelyn tried to look Cole in the eyes, but he kept averting his eyes from direct contact. “He finally looked at her. Cole spoke so softly, she could barely hear the words. “Please, Evie, please don’t leave me.” Evelyn gasped.  “Stay with me Evie.” Cole looked away. “He waits for you and promises . . . things.”

_Cullen. Only Cullen called her Evie._

Evelyn walked to the left balcony. Maker though the darkness comes upon me, I shall embrace the light. I shall weather the storm. Cullen moved to join her on the balcony and hear the last part of her prayer.

 “I shall endure. What you have created, no one can tear asunder. Blessed Andraste, you brought us here, do not take him from me. I would gladly give my-“

Cullen pulled her towards him stopping her prayer. “No, Ev. Don’t you dare say it. “

___

 Cullen did not sleep. He paced the room for most of the night. When he finally did retire, he held Evelyn until the sun rose. Evelyn woke to find him sleeping. She slipped from the bed and dressed quickly. Cullen would be furious, but she promised King Alistair she would be in Denerim for his meetings and she intended to be there. First, she wanted to apologize to Dorian and explain her position. Evelyn gathered Dagna’s notes and left her room.

The main hall was quiet. Evelyn stopped to allow the silence to soak in.   

“You couldn’t even allow me a moment, could you?” Evelyn turned to find Dorian standing at the entrance to the Undercroft. “One single moment to see if I could make this work. Are you so intimidated by the possibility that magic could make our lives better that you refuse to see the benefits?

“Dorian, your theory requires rift magic to work, I won’t be a party to its usage.” Evelyn was concerned about the stability of the area. “You told me that manipulation of time magic could unmake the world, and now you want to use it!”

“You’re only half right, it could, but Dagna created small setting to hold a fragment of the crystal. She’s brilliant you know, using a mix of metals to contain the fragment; once charged, it could last for years. We could limit who used the fragments; can’t you at least try to see? Use that intellect of yours to look past the danger and see the logic of what this could mean for Thedas, for the Inquisition! Travel to Denerim in the blink of an eye, not weeks. Immediate aid to those who need it! Evelyn, think of what could be accomplished!”

“Dorian, I can see the potential. It is brilliant. Yet I can’t support this, what of the abuses, the tear in the veil?”

“The best we can theorize is that the impact is minimal. If you would allow us to test it, you can observe the test. If it does not work, I will happily hand over everything to you for destruction. Please?”

Evelyn considered Dorian’s request. “ _One_ test Dorian, if anything goes awry the responsibility and consequences fall to you.”

Dorian clapped his hands once and opened the door to the Undercroft. “Right this way please, and thank you for believing enough to let me show you what we’ve done.”  
__

Cullen was surprised to find their bed empty. Evelyn. She’s probably talking with Dorian.  He dressed and descended the stairs. He opened the door to the Undercroft. Cullen watched as Evelyn used the mark on a pendant. The magic of the rift slowly moved from the Anchor, painting the room in a green glow. Realization struck Cullen.

“Evelyn, what are you doing? _You must not feed it._ “Maker’s blood! Stop Evelyn, this is what Cole meant. Do not feed it!”

Evelyn turned her head to see Cullen running down the stairs, and tried to knock Dorian and the pendant away from her. The chain slipped from Dorian’s hands. Evelyn reached out with her right hand to grab the necklace before it hit the floor. Cullen and Dorian cried out when the explosion of green light and hot air flung them against the far wall.  Cullen struggled to lift his head to find her. She was there opposite him, alone in a small heap on the ground.

“Please Evie, please don’t leave me.” Cullen's vision blurred and his head dropped.


	2. Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evelyn wakes to find a very different Inquisition. Dorian warns that Cullen is not the same man she knew. She needs to find a way out of Skyhold, but who can she trust? Evelyn begins to realize that what she knows to be true is falling apart.

Chapter 2 Breathe

Dorian saw the pendant after the explosion. He quickly grabbed it and hid it in his robes, knowing it would be needed. He saw what happened within the blast, but now was not the time.

Cullen stood over Dorian and grabbed the collar of his robes. “What did I tell you about these experiments? You could have brought down this entire area!  I have had enough of your disregard for the rules, I don’t care who you sleep with, are we clear?”

Evelyn shook the fuzziness from her head and vision. She slowly carried herself behind Cullen and put her hand on his arm. Dorian’s eyes widened in surprise at the affection in the gesture. Cullen turned and backhanded the intruder behind him. Evelyn landed on her back and yelped in pain.

“Cullen!” Evelyn cried out.

“Evie? Why did you sneak up on me?” He ran to her side and lifted her up. He held her tight against his chest. “Maker’s Blood. I am so sorry.  Are you hurt? What am I saying, of course you are. I would never have swung if I’d know it was you. What are you doing down here, you know it’s off limits, even to you.”

“What are you talking about?” Evelyn was confused. Had she missed something? They were all just here when the explosion happened. Had she lost consciousness? She looked past Cullen and saw a very badly beaten Dorian gesturing to her; he shook his head and put his upturned index finger to his lips. “I’m sorry, Cullen, I’m not feeling well. Could you help me get back to our room?”

“Our room, Evie?” Cullen looked at her, something was off. Maybe she was ill after all; she seemed different; reminiscent of someone he hadn’t seen in a very long time. He smirked. “Our room it is. Give me a moment, and then I’m yours.” He smiled.  The smile faded as he turned back to Dorian. “We aren’t finished. Just remember, you’ve been warned.”  Cullen turned to the desk with his back to Evelyn.

Dorian met her eyes once more and he showed her the pendant along with another request for silence. She nodded. _I need to get back here and talk with him._ _Something is seriously wrong. Cullen has never been violent like this._

Evelyn continued to stare at Dorian when Cullen was finally ready to leave. “Let’s go Evie, you don’t seem well at all.” He walked her to her door. He opened it and held it for her, she noted that he did not follow her inside.

“You aren’t staying?” Evelyn’s head was still spinning, and she hoped Cullen would at least stay with her a little while.

He open her door and ushered her inside. Standing at the threshold, he smiled. “Not until later, Evie. Too many eyes about.” He turned and left her standing there. Evelyn was so confused, she wanted to go back to talk with Dorian, at the least she could free him. She opened the door leading back to the main hall. The hall was empty. This was definitely odd as there were always people milling about the hall at all hours.

Evelyn continued to scan the room as she crossed to the door leading to the Undercroft. She gingerly unlatched the door and closed it as quietly as she could.  

“You should not be here, Evelyn. When they find out who you are . . .” Dorian’s voice startled her.

She moved to his side and looked for the keys to his chains. “Who put you here, why was Cullen so angry with you? When who finds out?”

Dorian’s head dropped. “I failed. That’s why. The experiment failed. I was wrong about what we tried to do. I don’t know why the explosion happened, but it was contained here in the Undercroft. Teleportation is not possible with magic, we knew that. I wasn’t trying to attempt it, really. I was trying to manipulate time like Alexius. Whatever we did, had a wider impact on Thedas. There are areas still free of that influence, only a small handful here in Skyhold were not directly influenced.”

Evelyn simply stared at Dorian. “What are you saying Dorian? I woke up minutes after the explosion.”

Dorian stretched as far as his chains allowed. “Yes, but this is not where you belong Evelyn. You are still you. It’s why you have to go, and why I can’t tell you everything. Just remember to lock your doors. Evelyn, you need to get out of here and get to Denerim. You must do so immediately.” Dorian handed her the pendant. “Keep this safe. When you are safely to Denerim, then you can use it to get back. These people are not your friends. There’s not enough time to explain, but I accept the responsibility for what I have done. Josephine plays their game, but she can help you. Tell her I said that ‘the Game is nothing but despair and hopelessness gilded in glittering gold.’ She’ll know I sent you. Go to your room and lock it Evelyn. Cullen is not the man you think he is, please just go.”

Evelyn just stared at him. “Get back where Dorian? What changed?”

“Evelyn, I don’t have time to explain. Please go. Find Josephine. Know that I am so sorry.” Dorian said.

She left him and closed the door behind her. The hall was empty as she crossed to her quarters. As Dorian had warned, she locked each door.

Evelyn did not see anything out of place. She saw some clothes on the far side of the room, but Cullen usually left his clothes everywhere. Evelyn looked at the pendant. It wasn’t scorched or broken, but Dorian’s behavior was so odd, she tucked it into a small pocket in her tunic.  She lay down on the bed, hoping to clear her head.

____

_Sera is on an errand for me. Hopefully, she found the note I gave her and will not return._

Josephine was worried, but Sera could take care of herself. Cullen had stopped by just a few moments prior and asked her to check in on the Inquisitor in the morning, claiming that she was not feeling well. She dreaded the task, but knew it was better to agree than to deceive him where the Inquisitor was concerned.

 Josephine was to depart for Denerim within two days to negotiate with King Alistair. She had been allowed to go only to keep the Ferelden monarchy happy.  In truth, Alistair had been raising support in secret to overthrow the Divine and dismantle the Inquisition.

Alistair had been content to keep out of the politics of Orlais and concentrate his efforts to rebuild Ferelden into a strong and independent nation until the siege at Jader.

At Wintersend in 9:45 the Inquisition had marched on the city of Jader. Part of Orlais, King Alistair would have ignored the reports except the location of Jader sitting closest to Ferelden disturbed him as well as his advisers and allies.

Josephine had been instrumental in gathering others to Alistair’s side. Varric had left Skyhold prior to the changes enacted by Divine Victoria, but had kept in contact with Ferelden spies through his serials. Not even Leliana had surmised that his two latest serials held the keys to movements and information about the Inquisition fed by Josephine. Varric had often used Josephine as an editor for his more politically charged business agreements. It was due to her involvement in these dealings that the influx of documentation and paperwork was not scrutinized as a personal letter would have been.

Varric had been able to send Garret Hawke to Alistair’s side not only for protection but to help in the more clandestine operations run from Denerim.  Hawke had negotiated secret partnerships with Rivain, Antiva, Nevarra and with the help of his brother, Carver, the Wardens in the Anderfels. 

Josephine was traveling to Denerim under the guise of trade negotiations with the Inquisition and Orzammar. This was not a complete fabrication. Orzammar was concerned about the access to the Deep Roads and the flow of lyrium to Divine Victoria’s forces. The plan was for King Behlen to agree to a silent treaty for mutual protection and division of the lyrium mining for Alistair’s allies. 

 Josephine sat at her desk reviewing Ferelden documents when Leliana approached from the main hall. “Josie, where is Sera? One of the guards mentioned she’d left with a number of provisions. Where did she go?” Leliana was not pleased that Sera had left without revealing her destination. The guards had reported several obscene gestures in response to their questions and fairly rude comments prior to Sera’s departure. 

 _Courage, Josephine_. “Sera will meet me in Denerim. I sent her to several Dalish encampments in search of a specific gift for King Alistair. They make a unique type of cheese the king is quite fond of these days. I thought a gift such as this would help in the negotiations.”

Leliana considered Josephine’s answer. “Excellent idea. Good thinking, Josie.” Leliana walked away.

 _Two days. Courage, Josephine._ Josephine took a deep breath and returned to her documents. _  
___

Evelyn woke to twilight and Skyhold seemed strangely quiet. Maryden was usually deep in song by now. Evelyn thought about heading to Cullen’s office, but Dorian’s warnings still disturbed her. _How could he be different?_

In Evelyn’s reverie, she did not hear the door unlock.

“I wondered if you would wait for me.” Cullen’s voice drifted towards her. He put his arms around her waist and gently nipped and kissed her neck. She heard him inhale deeply. “I miss that smell. It remains my favorite.” Cullen started to wonder if she had changed her mind about him. “When did you start wearing that scent again?”

He turned her towards him. “What made you change your mind?” He traced her bottom lip with his finger. When she looked at him, confusion filled his face. Instead of Evie’s cold stare he saw a softness he had missed in her for so long. Before he could stop himself, he leaned in to kiss her. He watched as she closed her eyes. “Evie this isn’t funny. If you just called me up here to torment me-“

She grabbed his tunic and pulled him into her. “Stop calling me Evie. Cullen, I get your point. I never should have helped Dorian. Please.”

Cullen did not believe what was happening. _Was Evie playing some sort of sick joke? Evie had made it clear to him that he was no longer in her favor. Now she was suddenly acting like nothing that ever changed between them. Evie could be setting him up; the thought was beginning to take root in his head._

Cullen’s features darkened and his new expression worried Evelyn. He pushed her away and then deliberately stalked towards her. The intent on his face was clear, she was in danger.  Evelyn put her hands up to reassure him. “Cullen, this morning, remember, you slept here. I was to leave for Denerim tomorrow, and we were to have dinner tonight at sunset. Maker’s breath! Stop this, please! You succeeded in scaring me, please Cullen.” Tears spilled from her eyes.

“Evelyn? That’s not possible.  . .but the perfume.” Cullen went to the large covered jar on the mantle. Evelyn kept her herbal mix inside. It was empty and the smell almost imperceptible.  “But you, its not possible. I thought it was because you-“

“I am done with this game. Enough.” Evelyn crossed her arms and stared.

“Evelyn. It’s 9:47. We serve the Divine. We are the Right and Left Hand of Divine Victoria. You are the Inquisitor General.”

__

“I’m the what? Cullen, please stop, first Dorian, now you.  When did all this happen? How is it I don’t remember?”

Cullen took careful steps towards her. “Forgive me, but Evie, if this is a trick I will break your fucking neck. Show me the coin. Evelyn opened the small pocket over her breast. Careful not to pull out the pendant, she retrieved the one thing Cullen had given her. The coin from his brother, a good luck charm. Evelyn held it in her palm and showed him the coin.” You gave it to me at the lake, remember? Branson had given it to you before you left for Templar training.”

“You threw it into the Waking Sea, when you left me.” Cullen said.

“When I left you?” Evelyn asked.

_The ship sailed from Ostwick, the plan had failed. Cullen was unable to secure the lyrium agreement as the Divine had ordered._

_Evie was not pleased. “Cullen. This was a simple operation. You only needed to intercept the lyrium caravan and secure the supply line.” Her patience with Cullen was waning considerably. Blackwall was far more willing to share her bed only when she wanted and follow her orders without question._

_Cullen tried to explain his position. “The lyrium was not adequate, the vein was poor and it would not have been sufficient. We’d need more than what could be mined to make proper draughts.”_

_Cullen was concerned that the impurities in the vein could cause damage to those who used the lyrium draughts created from it._

_“As long as it kept the Templars under my control I did not care if it addled every single one of their minds. I do not understand why that is so difficult for you to grasp!”_

_“Evie, we need them strong if you plan to use them when necessary.”_

_“No. I just need more replacements. You on the other hand are far too sentimental.” Evie showed him the coin. “See this? This is just a fractured memory that you refuse to let go.” Evie held his gaze. She put her hand out and dropped the coin into the Waking Sea. “Be out of my quarters as soon as we return to Skyhold. Do your job, Commander and I believe you may be allowed to remain in the Inquisition.”_

The woman before him was definitely not Evie.

“Come with me, quickly.” Cullen grabbed her arm and took her down the stairs. Cullen looked around and continued to pull Evelyn into the Undercroft.

Dorian sighed. “Is it to be more beatings this time, or did you convince the little woman to help this time?”

“Dorian, this is Evelyn, not Evie and I need you to send her back now.” Cullen said.

He kicked the table. “I know who it is, Commander, I can’t send her back. I don’t know how. Take her to Alistair. She can be safe there and then try to use the pendant, I don’t know if it will work or not.  At least in Denerim she’ll be away from here and Victoria’s reach.”

Evelyn stared at the two men. “How do I know that I can trust you, Cullen? So far you’ve hit me, nearly throttled me and then threatened to break my neck? How do I know you aren’t going to hand me off to Leliana or Victoria?”

Cullen sighed. “I could say the same for you, Evelyn. This could all be a trap for me, Dorian even Alistair.” Cullen removed his mantle and breastplate.  


“Be careful Commander, if Bull or anyone were to enter, you would need to explain.” Dorian warned.

“There is but one way to see who stands before me.” Cullen removed his tunic and turned his back to Evelyn.

She gasped. Cullen’s back was covered in deep red scars, not completely healed. They lay atop older scars that cross the length and width of his body. Evelyn’s eyes filled with tears at the thought of the pain and anguish Cullen had to endure. She reached out tentatively to touch his back just to solidify what her eyes could see. “Maker, no. Oh, Cullen who did this to you?” He quickly dressed and adjusted his armor.

“Evie. I failed on a mission and this was my punishment.” Cullen watched as tears fell from fearful eyes.

“No.” Evelyn stroked his face and pulled Cullen into her embrace. “I could never, Cullen. Maker, tell me it wasn’t me that did this to you.”

“That is how I know you are not Evie. You are my Ev, my Evelyn. You are not the beast that did this to me and that is why I will take you to Denerim.”

Dorian sat back on his cot. “First things first Commander, you need to get her out of her in the morning. A faked report of danger on the road to Denerim should allow Josephine to leave early. Evelyn should be hidden in the cart. You will need to accompany them.  Leliana will buy that you volunteered to protect the party, this way there is no need for additional soldiers.”

“What if I am discovered? “ Evelyn asked.

Dorian touched his temples. “Evelyn, first of all you have to stop being you. Evie was horrid, the complete opposite of you. You must pretend to be her while you remain. You have no friends here, they all fear you. Use that to your advantage. Blackwall is gone for another day, which will help.”

Evelyn furrowed her brow. “What’s so special about Blackwall?”

Dorian half smiled at her.  “Special? He’s only your husband, my dear.”

Evelyn was shocked. “He’s my what?”

“Breathe, Evelyn. Deep breaths. You’re going to need it. If you do not escape you may never return to where you belong. It’s time for to learn how to be a bitch in one easy lesson.” Dorian chuckled.


	3. On the Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evelyn must continue to play her role as Evie as Cullen fights his feelings towards her. He must see her to Denerim and to the safety that only King Alistair can provide.

Ch. 3 On the Run

“Dorian, I will rip that smile off your face if you do not stop with this inappropriate teasing.” Evelyn said. She leaned in close to whisper. “If I’ve lost my Cullen to your fuck up, there is no place you will ever be able to hide. Do you understand me?”

Dorian looked to Cullen.  “Lesson unnecessary I see. There’s the Evie I know. Keep that up until _this_ Cullen can get you to Denerim.”

As Evelyn turned to leave, Dorian grabbed her wrist and pulled her close. “Evelyn, _he is your Cullen_. Evie did this. Feed the pendant and return. You will need to stop Vivienne when and if you return.” Dorian let her go.

Sitting back on his cot he looked at Cullen. “You both should go, before Bull arrives.”

Evelyn turned around to face Cullen. He could see she was angry and said nothing. When the door to the Undercroft opened to reveal Bull’s surprised face, Evelyn was ready.

Bull took in the scene before him. _Cullen and Evie, huh, that’s interesting_. “So, Boss, something you want to share?” Bull smiled.

Evelyn grabbed the dagger from her boot and threw it at his head. She almost gasped when it landed closer than she’d intended. The dagger was a hair’s width away from his cheek.

The look of shock on Bull’s face told her she succeeded in making a point. “That was close!”

Evelyn stomped up the stairs with Cullen in tow. “No Bull, my aim was off. Question me again to test my aim. ” Evelyn pushed her way through the door and waited for Cullen. She needed to talk with Josephine. “Bull, bring Josephine to my quarters now.”

Bull’s shoulders sagged. “Have Cullen do it.” Evelyn returned to stand in front of Bull. She leaned her body into his as she grabbed her dagger and whispered to him. “I told you to do it.” When she pulled the small blade from the door she carried it in front of his face. “Do I have to break your toy for you to listen to me?” Evelyn looked back at Dorian and then up into Bull’s face.

“No Boss. Right away.”

Evelyn threw up her hands and returned the dagger to her boot. She stalked off in the direction of her quarters.  When she flung her door open, she wheeled around and shouted. “Cullen!” She slammed the door behind her.

“Shit, Cullen. What pissed her off? She’s never been nasty with me before. That was a whole new level of scary, even for her.” Bull said.

“Quite. I’d recommend bringing Josephine as soon as possible. That temper is likely to continue if you ignore her. Excuse me.” Cullen said, hiding a smirk as he turned to go.

“Yea, good point.  I’ll do that right now.” Bull walked off towards Josephine’s room.

Dorian smiled as the scene played out. _Nice one, dear Evelyn._ _You might actually make it to Denerim._

Bull burst into Josephine’s office. “Let’s go, Evie wants to see you right now.”

Josephine huffed. “That is quite impossible; I have a very short time to prepare and cannot stop every time someone needs me to answer a question. She will simply have to wait until these documents are completed.”

“Listen, normally I wouldn’t care what you do. But Evie is _pissed off_ about something and she’s dragging Cullen around like a doll. She almost took my head off with a dagger a few minutes ago. Just go, find out what she wants and get back here and finish your stuff, okay?” Bull gestured to the door. “You’re saving my ass too, just remember that. I’ll owe you, deal?”

Josephine sighed and picked up her papers. _I can’t leave any of this lying around_. “Very well, Bull.  Just remember you owe me. I may not be as scary as some here in Skyhold, but I will never forget if you back out on a deal. Is that clear Bull?” 

He nodded. “Let’s go already.”

Josephine carried her papers with her on the way to the Inquisitor’s quarters. Bull didn’t ask and she did not offer as to why they were not left. He opened the door and waited for her to pass him. As the door was closed behind her, she swore she heard him laugh. “Better her than me.”

____

Josephine climbed the stairs to Evie’s room _. Just breathe, Josephine. This may be nothing._ She reached the top step only to lose her footing when Cullen met her at the top. “Cullen? I admit I did not expect you to be here. How might I be of service?” Josephine voice shook as she spoke. She coughed. “Apologies, I am a bit tired preparing for the trip to Denerim.”

Evelyn did not know how to convince Josephine to trust her. Evelyn inhaled sharply and crossed to Josephine where she stood. She took her hands and held them gently. “Josephine, you have no reason to believe me, but I need your help. I need to leave here tomorrow for Denerim. I’m playing a dangerous game. The game is nothing but despair and hopelessness gilded in glittering gold.”

Josephine squawked. She tried to cover it up quickly by coughing. “I don’t know where you heard that Evie.”

Evelyn did not let go, but she did not tighten her grip either. “I’m leaving tomorrow with Cullen’s help. I need you to come with me. This will make no sense, but I am not Evie. When I woke this morning it was just a year after we defeated Corypheus. I was leaving for Denerim to meet with King Alistair.”

Josephine pulled away. “The explosion? Then we were right. Cullen, you were right.” Cullen inclined his head slightly in agreement.

“Now is not the time Josephine. I will take care of the travel change now. Get prepared. Evelyn will be hidden in the cart, but I must know if you will be able to maintain the ruse.” Cullen said.

“Commander, I have been pretending for some time now. I believe that I can continue until such time as it is no longer necessary.” Cullen nodded and left the two alone. When Josephine heard the door close, she resumed talking.  “You do understand that King Alistair may not be so ready to believe you, Inquisitor.”

Evelyn sat at her desk. She looked at her hands as if they held the answers she sought. “What did you mean when you said ‘we were right’? What was Cullen right about?” Evelyn put her head down on the desk.

“Andraste preserve me, you really are Evelyn aren’t you?” Josephine suddenly felt a need to help her friend. “Listen to me carefully. Alistair will not be forgiving when you arrive. You will most likely be detained. The things that Evie has done, the disappearances and cruelties: all of it is unforgiveable. But I now believe that Cullen and I were right years ago. Evie was a product of Vivienne’s revenge against you.”

“Just after the explosion, Vivienne had you taken to her home in Val Royeaux. It was weeks before you returned. Only it wasn’t you, Evelyn. Cullen was the first to notice the change. He told me you didn’t close your eyes anymore, didn’t blink anymore. We all thought it was just a symptom of the lyrium withdrawal so his comments were ignored.”

Evelyn blushed. She looked up at Josephine. “I close my eyes when we kiss. I forget that I do that.” Evelyn continued. “When we are in a group of people, at the war table, or any event where we cannot be together I blink my eyes slowly and he returns the blink in kind. Silly, but ours alone.”

Josephine smiled. “Oh! I had no idea. Forgive me. Now I understand why Cullen would have been so upset.”

Evelyn tried to put her fears aside and find out all she should about Evie. Just as she was about to ask, the two heard the door open and the sounds of footsteps on the stairs. Evelyn could hear there were two sets of foot falls. Women. Most likely Cassandra and Leliana.

Cassandra called from the stairs. “May we enter Evie?”

Evelyn banged her fist against her desk. “I have had it with this lack of respect today! How dare you simply enter my quarters without so much as a knock. What is so urgent that it could not wait?”

“Actually, Inquisitor we are looking for Josephine. Is everything all right, Josie?” Asked Leliana.

Josephine followed Evelyn’s anger. “I am not some child, Leliana.”

Leliana was concerned. Josephine was terrified of Evie. For Josephine to be in Evie’s quarters was a sign that something was wrong. Bull had fed her concerns with his comments regarding Evie’s violence towards him.

“Leliana, please. The Inquisitor had me brought here to discuss her expectations for the negotiations. I am still capable of fulfilling my duties.” Josephine smiled at Evelyn.

Evelyn did not return the smile, which quickly wiped Josephine’s face of all expression.

Evelyn turned towards the two. “I assume there is a point to this interruption? There seems to be a problem with overstepping boundaries today.”

 Leliana could tell that something was not quite right. Evie had only shown contempt for Cullen, never anyone else. She needed to get a message to Vivienne that they might be losing control of Evie.  _Losing control of Evie._ This was a dangerous game, Leliana knew that from the start.

_In the aftermath of the explosion in the Undercroft, the fate of the Inquisition was left to Leliana. Dorian and Cullen survived with only minor injuries. Dagna had tried to piece together what had gone wrong. She could only guess based on Dorian’s recollections. The anchor had proved too powerful to fuel the experiment, the explosion was caused by an overload in the pendant. After several days, Evelyn had not regained consciousness in spite of numerous efforts. Without Solas, who possessed the most intimate knowledge of the anchor and its abilities and limitations, reviving Evelyn seemed impossible.  It had been Leliana’s decision to contact Divine Victoria._

_The Divine needed the Inquisition to carry out her plans to reinstate the Circles, to do so she needed stronger Templars and to guarantee obedience, a more reliable and constant flow of lyrium. Vivienne could not carry out her plans without the Inquisitor._

_Leliana and Cassandra had brought Evelyn to Vivienne’s estate in Orlais, her current temporary home as Divine. “Most Holy, I must protest. What you propose is against the Maker. Cassandra will assume responsibilities of the Inquisitor.” Leliana was in shock. Vivienne’s plan to place a spirit within Evelyn’s body was wrong, those she had known in a similar situation had agreed to be a part of the pairing, this was a forced possession._

_The Divine ignored Leliana’s pleas. “Lady Cassandra does not have the respect that Lady Trevelyan has earned throughout Thedas; you know this to be true. My dear Nightingale, we must endeavor to guarantee the sovereignty of the Circles. I simply cannot rely on an ages old reputation of a once great Seeker. I must have the Inquisitor. My solution will only be temporary. Let us secure the lyrium contracts and the loyalty of the Templars and then we will decide what to do with the Inquisitor.”_

_“Yes, Most Holy. What of the Commander? The Inquisitor and he have been . . . close.” Leliana hesitated. She would attempt to protect Cullen if at all possible._

_“Yes, the Commander. He should be encouraged to resume his lyrium use. His leadership within the Templars could prove useful. Evelyn will see to it, I will make sure of it. Now you must excuse me, my dear, I must attend to the Inquisitor so you may return with her as soon as possible.”_

_Leliana knew she would never encourage Cullen to resume his lyrium use, nor would Cassandra. She simply bowed and left the Divine to her work._

“I asked if there was a problem, Leliana, or will you continue to disturb me for no reason?” Evelyn could feel she was losing her nerve.  She needed to get rid of everyone as soon as possible.

“Inquisitor, I apologize I was lost in thought.” Leliana said. “We apologize for the interruption.”  Cassandra and Leliana descended the staircase and closed the door.

Evelyn grabbed Josephine’s hand. “Find out from Cullen what is happening and be careful. Ask him to see me as soon as he is able.” Josephine nodded and left Evelyn alone.

Evelyn realized she would need to leave her blades behind, unless Cullen could find a solution. Her armor, on the other hand would not be a problem. She would take a simple roll, with a blanket, a change of clothes and several small daggers for her own protection.  She would need to be hidden near the main gate well before dawn as the cart was prepared.

_Dorian. I need to get to Dorian. Hopefully Bull is gone._

Evelyn took the stairs down to the main hall. Before she could open the door, it was pulled open.

Cullen’s startled expression melted into a soft smile. “There you are.” He said softly and ushered her back inside and closed the door behind them. “We don’t have to go to Denerim, you know. We could leave tonight and go north. Together.” Cullen traced her jawline with his finger and lifted her chin. “How I’ve missed you Ev.” He stood enveloped in her gaze.

Evelyn touched Cullen’s face. He closed his eyes and rubbed his cheek into her hand. “Cullen.” She wanted to kiss him, wanted to feel that none of this was real. She drew her thumb across his lips and smiled as he sighed.  _He is Cullen. This is my Cullen. Not a dream._ Evelyn leaned in and hovered a moment over his lips. She knew he was lost to his anticipation.

“Ev, please.” His breathless plea was all she needed to forget where she was. Her lips joined his.  He pulled away slightly to search her face for approval. A shaky intake of breath from him belied his confidence. In silent answer she met him again, her soft lips to his, urging him to continue.

A soft groan from deep within him pushed her mind back to memories of his skin touching hers, his scent lingering in her bed. Deft learned fingers released the buttons on her tunic. Her breath hitched as callused fingers touched bare skin. He buried his face in her neck inhaling her scent. The memories of flowers and herbs and so many stolen moments in this stairwell sobered him. His body craved hers, but he had to save her first. He needed to get her to Denerim and then, perhaps then he would be reunited with her before Evie, before all of this. If she could return, he needed to try.

Cullen grappled with his own control to stop. “Evelyn. Forgive me. I need to see you safe first.” He swiftly buttoned her tunic. He kissed her several times stroking her face. He took a deep breath and spoke through his exhale. “I love you, Ev.”

Her confusion at his actions left her dumbstruck.

“Quickly now, is everything ready for your departure?” She shook her head.

“Evelyn! I need you with me now! I am so sorry, I forgot myself. Blades, harness and armor, Ev.” Cullen took her shoulders and gently jostled her. “Evelyn, where are your blades?”

She pointed upstairs. Cullen moved in front of her and took her hand, pulling her up the stairs. He led her to the closet. Pulling open the door he found a bedroll and put the blades and harness inside it. He grabbed her pack and checked the provisions. Cullen looked to her and saw she was still lost.

“Evelyn, we need to hide you in the cart now. Leliana and Cassandra are meeting with Josephine. Evelyn do you understand what is at stake here? Evelyn, listen to me. I am not who I once was. I am a shadow of the man you love and will always be so. Dorian believes you can return. I give that chance back to the man I was and pray that he will always be worthy of you.”

Evelyn felt the pendant in her pocket and the outline of the coin. “I need to get back to you.”

Cullen smiled. “Yes. You need to get back to me, Ev. Are you ready?” He felt his heart sink to the floor. He loved her, but she wasn’t his to have. “I will go first and meet you at the barn.”

Evelyn nodded. Cullen gathered everything and moved to the stairs. She watched as he hesitated but did not turn back. “Hurry, Evelyn.”

Evelyn waited for a few moments and then exited her quarters. The main hall was empty yet again. She cut through the tower entrance towards Cullen’s tower. Careful to avoid detection she entered his office and moved to the left stairwell. In her haste she did not see the figure standing in the shadows.

 _Maker watch over you, Evelyn. Once again my arrows are yours if you need them. Set things right._ Leliana thought and returned to her tower.

___

Leliana knew that Evie would not be missed until Blackwall returned. She understood that he was delayed at least another month, he was still trying to negotiate with the Wardens and although it seemed to be progressing it could be several months before Blackwall returned. This would buy Evelyn even more time. Leliana prayed that Evelyn could restore order much the same as she had when Alexius had thrown time forward.

Vivienne, on the other hand, craved power. She would condemn this world to serve her own needs. Leliana knew the game was changing. Hawke in Denerim, the Siren’s Call spotted on the Waking Sea, and the reports of a tattooed elf warrior arriving on the Storm Coast spoke to the gathering storm. Leliana was no fool. This was what her scouts had reported. Alistair was far more cunning than most could ever understand. There were more movements and plans hidden, but they all pointed towards one thing. Vivienne had gone too far.

Quill to paper she wrote to the one person in Denerim that knew where her loyalties lie.

 

_My friend,_

_The queen will fall only when all the pieces are placed on the board. Until then you must await the knight and the rook._

_Trust your memory, not your eyes._

_A friend_

She moved to her charges. The large male with the red, white and yellow bands indicated one thing. He went to one location only. She tucked the note in the tube on the bird’s leg and took him to the balcony and raised her arm. The bird flapped its large wings and took off.

___

Several days later

“A message, Alistair. Delivered by a large black bird.” Hawke offered.

 _It’s about time_. Alistair motioned for Hawke to come forward.

“Shall I read the message?” Hawke asked.

“I believe that I am still capable of reading a message, thank you. Unless you think that there is some sort of hidden spell or trap contained in such a small scrap of paper.” Alistair smiled.

Hawke laughed. “You know, your snarky comments are only tolerated because you are King.”

Alistair raised his eyebrow. “Yes, King. Remember that more often, would you?”

Hawke leaned against the wall. “Would you rather I kiss your ass? You know my preference for strong men, Alistair.”

Alistair scoffed. “I’ll thank you to leave my ass out of this. Remind me why I agreed to this? Oh right, _I didn’t_. This was all Varric’s ridiculous idea. Hasn’t your moody elf arrived yet?”

“Not yet. But you're always welcome to join in when he does.” Hawke’s booming laugh carried him out of Alistair’s room.

Alistair shook his head and unrolled the letter.

_Leliana. So Cullen is on his way with Josephine. Who is the rook?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued.


	4. Time

Ch. 4 Time

Hawke burst through King Alistair’s private study. Alistair’s eyes narrowing slightly and eyebrow raised should have alerted Garrett Hawke to the Ferelden king’s displeasure at the interruption.

Alistair ignored the mage standing before him with his arms crossed. The king spoke in an affected voice. ”I’m sorry, your Majesty, I didn’t know you were busy.” Alistair said as he looked up at Hawke. He continued the conversation with himself. “That’s all right, Hawke. I quite enjoy when someone simply barges into my private rooms without announcing themselves first. Knock. That’s all I am saying, Hawke.”

Hawke said nothing.

Alistair continued. “As much as I love our little chats, Hawke, was there a purpose to your interruption?”

Hawke stood and stared. “You know, I’m still trying to figure out why women think you are just so charming, it’s actually rather annoying that little banter thing that you do, _your Majesty_. I would think it would be rather obvious to you that there is something quite serious for me to interrupt your private time.  I will simply say this. Her Worship, holy anointed bitch of the Divine is on her way here with Commander Cullen and the Lady Josephine. They passed through the city gates about ten minutes ago and are heading this way. I’ll have the guards detain her with your permission.” Hawke turned to go.

 _Trust your memory, not your eyes._ Leliana’s letter had indicated that another traveled with Josephine and Cullen. _Why would the Inquisitor General come here?_ Alistair stood. “Have a small contingent of guards as well as your elf in the receiving hall, but do not detain her yet.

“My elf has a name, it’s Fenris. You might try to use it on occasion.” Hawke quipped.

“When he stops slinking about and frightening every attendant, guest or anyone he comes upon in the halls, I will offer him my respect.” Alistair said. “Now, please do I as I have asked. A little bird cautioned me to be open minded and I will do just that.”

Hawke was not convinced. “You do understand that Evie Trevelyan needs to be stopped. She is a danger to you and all Ferelden. If she as much as sneezes, she’s dead.”

Alistair quickly moved to where Hawke stood and grabbed his arm. Hawke was surprised by the strength that held him back. “Do not underestimate me, Serrah Hawke. Whatever you may think of me, I am still Ferelden’s king, and _you_ are a guest here. One of those situations can be easily remedied. Do not think for one moment that you have the upper hand. Do you understand?”

“I apologize King Alistair. I will do as you ask; be cautious. Varric will have my ass if anything goes wrong.” Hawke said.

Alistair turned away and muttered to himself. “He’s probably the only one of your crew that hasn’t at this point.”

Hawke laughed. “Now that was actually funny.” Hawke left Alistair to prepare the hall for their guests.

Alistair left his quarters and walked slowly to the receiving hall. He detoured for a moment to request his armor, sword and shield. Hawke was within his rights when he cautioned that Evie was dangerous. Alistair would be a fool not to prepare.

Alistair had once been friendly with Lady Trevelyan, with Evelyn. After several visits in Denerim, he’d taken to writing to her on occasion and she’d always responded. Evelyn had succeeded once in finding Elissa, but had been unsuccessful in subsequent missions. Evelyn understood Alistair’s need to find his wife and never judged him for his stubborn streak when it came to Elissa. The sudden change in Evelyn’s behavior so many years ago had long ended their friendship. Evie, the Inquisitor General, was a totally different person; she was evil to the core and with no concern for the lives around her.

 Alistair now found it hard to believe that she had changed. He arrived in the receiving hall prior to his guests and sat down to wait. Hawke took in Alistair’s full armor and nodded in agreement.

___

Cullen stood behind Evelyn rubbing her shoulders. Josephine smiled at the gesture. It had been too long since Cullen had been at ease. Josephine had wondered if Evie had truly destroyed the last of Cullen’s humanity. Evie had convinced Cullen that his compassion was holding him back from truly being the leader she needed. Seeing him in a simple act of comfort gave her hope that Evie’s influence could be changed throughout Thedas. As long as King Alistair could build the support he would need to move against the Divine, there would be hope. 

 She would make Alistair understand that Evelyn was no threat; even a few minutes with Evelyn would convince him.

Josephine had spent the entire journey outlining what had happened in the past few years. The more Evelyn heard, the more she wondered if Evie was possessed by a spirit. Solas had explained to her before about summoning a spirit.  It was critical to allow the spirit to act within its nature to prevent that spirit from becoming a demon. Evie was cold, cruel and vicious when challenged. She had tried to secure lyrium lines, build an army and control all areas of Thedas ruled by weaker individuals. _Command_. They’d met such a spirit in Crestwood. Could that be the cause of Evie’s callous behavior? She’d been purposefully cruel and contemptuous towards Cullen. Did Evie see Cullen’s affections as a weakness? Is that why she targeted him?  

If Evelyn had been possessed, why hadn’t Cassandra and Leliana noticed? Wouldn’t Cole have known?

“Cullen, where is Cole?” Cullen stopped his motions.

“He disappeared not long after you returned from the Divine’s care. So I really don’t know.”

“Josephine, did you bring any dresses or can you get me a simple shift before we meet Alistair? I can’t meet him like this. He likely has guards or bodyguards ready to strike.” Cullen stiffened at her words.

“I won’t allow you to be injured, Ev.” Cullen spoke defiantly. He knew that she was right. If there was a chance to take Evie out, Alistair would not hesitate to save Ferelden.

Josephine started to pull items from her bags. “Yes, this will do fine. We need a place for you to change.”

Evelyn shook her head. “There isn’t time. Just grab two blankets and each of you hold them up. I’ll make this fast.” Evelyn stripped and changed into the pale blue shift. She glanced over at Cullen at one point and saw the blush on his face. “You peeked, Commander.”  Cullen coughed.

“Maybe for a moment . . . or two.” Cullen would not look directly at her.

Evelyn continued and removed all weapons from her person and placed them in Josephine’s pack. She removed her boots as well.

“Evelyn, this is completely unnecessary.” Cullen did not like the idea of Evelyn being completely vulnerable.

Evelyn looked at her advisers. “Alistair and I once wrote each other about humility. I told him that the day would come when I might need to appeal to him for aid. I wrote him that when that day came, I would approach him unadorned, bare-footed and with only the name I was given at birth. He assured me he would receive me if I ever I walked into the royal palace with no shoes on.”

Two guards approached them. “King Alistair will see you now.”

Josephine led them and Cullen walked at Evelyn’s side. As they continued down the hall, Cullen took Evelyn’s hand in his. The roughness of his hands startled her again as they had in her stairwell when he touched her bare skin. “Did she do that to your hands? They were never this rough.”

Cullen chuckled softly. “I guess I stopped caring, Ev.”

“I’m so sorry, Cullen.” Evelyn squeezed his hand as they entered the receiving hall.

Cullen brought her hand up to him and brushed his lips to her fingers. Alistair did not miss the gesture.

 _Well, this is new._ Alistair continued to watch the scene unfold in front of him.

Josephine stepped forward and greeted King Alistair. He nodded, his eyes still locked on Evie.

Evelyn pulled away from Cullen and walked towards Alistair. Hawke motioned to two guards to approach her. Evelyn stopped and stood still. Her breath caught as she heard the command from the man she had saved in the Fade so many years ago. “Search her!”

The guards pulled and pushed her back and forth. They were not gentle. When one of them grabbed her breast, Cullen shouted “No!”  Josephine held him from moving forward to interfere. Alistair stood shocked at response from the one man who had endured so much at Evie’s hands. Cullen easily pulled free and pushed the guards to the ground.

“Stop this now!” Alistair yelled.

Cullen looked to Alistair as he gathered Evelyn protectively and covered her.

Alistair took a long look at Evie. Something was wrong. He walked towards Cullen, still confused. Cullen stroked her hair and held her protectively. Alistair saw that Evie shook in Cullen’s arms. _She cries?_ She had no armor, no weapons and then he saw her feet. “No shoes.” Alistair recalled their letters. She swore that if she ever truly needed him, she would appeal to him with bare feet and only her name.

Alistair reached the two and pulled on Evelyn’s shoulder. “Tell me your name.” 

Evelyn turn to face Alistair. He could see the wet lines of tears on her face. “Tell me your name!” Alistair’s voice cut through her and she jumped.

Evelyn knelt on the stone floor. “My name is Evelyn Trevelyan, your Highness.”

Alistair offered his hand and Evelyn took it and stood. “Commander Cullen, if you would permit me?”

Alistair could see the restraint that Cullen now exercised. If everything Alistair had been told about Cullen’s deterioration was true, the fact that he bowed even slightly to Alistair must have taken great discipline. He knew through Varric that Evie had broken him and forced Cullen to resume his lyrium use. Evie demanded total obedience. Alistair was also aware that Cullen did not use the draughts and had not for the past year. Evie had pushed him to the point where he only used the pure lyrium dust. If he stopped now, he would die.

Hawke and Fenris stepped down towards Alistair. “You two take care of these two guards, they are not to be harmed but are no longer welcome here.”

Alistair took both her hands in his. “Andraste’s flaming sword, Evelyn. What is going on here? I should let you go before Cullen gets angry, hmm? Unless of course you’ve changed your mind and decided you prefer royalty to strong silent military types.”

Evelyn tried not to laugh.

“Seems I still have it, even after all this time.” Alistair said. “Come on, I think clothes are in order as well as some kind of explanation about what in the Maker’s name is happening here.” Alistair walked with his arm around Evelyn towards the hall. She stopped and turned to face Cullen.

Evelyn knew he had always been jealous of any time spent with Ferelden’s king. She looked into Cullen’s eyes from where she stood and closed her eyelids slowly and opened them again. He in turn did the same. Evelyn resumed her walk with Alistair.

Josephine could not help but feel pain for him. She moved closer to him and whispered. “Cullen, she can’t remain here. You know this.”

He frowned. “I am well aware, Lady Ambassador, as is she. Allow me this moment.”

Josephine touched his arm and nodded.   

__

Evelyn was given time to prepare herself before she met Alistair in his study. Cullen insisted on accompanying her. When they entered the study, Alistair and Hawke sat at the small table. Fenris stood in the shadows at the rear of the room.

Cullen entered the room first blocking Evelyn from the doorway. Alistair smirked. _Ever the soldier._

Alistair looked around his small study.  _This was a mistake._

Evelyn could hear a commotion of raised voices and shouting from the hall. Cullen pushed Evelyn inside the room and closed the door.  Alistair rose and moved to Evelyn’s side.

Though muffled by the closed door, the shouting voice was definitely female. “Move Commander Creepy! Hey Lady Inquizzybitch! You in there?”

Alistair raised his eyebrow. “Hey. Lady. Inquizzybitch. Interesting friends you have my lady.”

“Sera.” Evelyn said unsuccessfully trying to hide a smile.

She could hear Sera yelling. “YES! She heard me.”

Alistair moved to the door and opened it. Sera was surprised to be face to face with the King.

“Oh wow. You’re that king. The cheese king. Josie asked me to get cheese for you.”

Alistair was confused. “Then I should say thank you, I guess.”

Sera smiled. “No problem. World’s gone to shite again and I’m sucking up to Dalish elves for cheese that smells like something downwind of a sheep’s arse. Yeah, that makes sense.”

“I’m sorry?” Alistair wasn’t quite sure if there was a proper response to such a statement.

Sera continued. “You should be. I heard what happened in your hall.” Sera gestured to Evelyn. “Right. Anyone just looks at her funny, deals with me.” Sera stalked off.

Alistair gestured for Evelyn to join him in the hall. She linked her arm through Cullen’s and leaned into him. “I see the Commander will be joining us?”

She nodded. Cullen did not respond but Evelyn felt him take a deep breath and exhale slowly. She tilted her head towards him and whispered to him. “We have so little time left; please stay with me a little longer.” He nodded.

Cullen would need to return to Skyhold soon; to remain behind would put them all in danger. He was only supposed to see Josephine to Denerim not stay behind. Josephine and Sera would stay for the next few days to complete the talks with Orzammar and then would travel to Antiva by way of Isabella’s ship.

As they walked, Cullen and Alistair discussed Evelyn remaining behind. Alistair and Hawke would need to keep Evelyn out of sight of any of the Divine’s contacts.

“Hawke spent a handful of days weeding through everyone here and in the tower. With the exception of this afternoon’s display, for which I am still deeply sorry, all of the Divine’s eyes and ears have been removed.” Alistair explained that Varric had first caught the news that Denerim had been infiltrated and sent Hawke to Alistair’s court. Varric remained in contact with the Lady Josephine passing information and intelligence between Skyhold and Kirkwall while Varric kept Alistair appraised of the information he learned. 

Cullen thought about Leliana.  _She never would have tolerated the loss of information flow.  She either had spies inside the royal palace or?  “_ Leliana is loyal to you, your Majesty, not the Divine. She knew about what Evie was, didn’t she? Is it as Evelyn believes, is Evie possessed?”

Alistair grinned. “Yes, Leliana is a friend. When she realized what Divine Victoria was planning, she organized all of this. She brought in Varric and Hawke to pull in as many unknown influences as possible. Specific influences Victoria would never consider seeking as potential allies. And yes, Commander Cullen, Evie is one step away from abomination. Evie is not a mage, I am afraid that we do not know enough to say what Evie is to be sure.”

She felt Cullen tense.  “Evie’s gone, Cullen.”

Alistair shook his head. “No, she isn’t Evelyn.   You need to find a way back, Dorian suspects that Evie waits for you. He is not sure how or even if the pendant will send you back. Josephine gave me all of Dorian's notes. They are yours.

Evelyn could see the pieces falling into place. “There is nothing to be done here. I must go back and remove Evie and the Divine, which is what you are unwilling to say, Alistair.”

Cullen turned her towards him. “No, Evelyn. Stay with me, Evie doesn’t matter. You do. We could stay here, in Ferelden.”

A female voice rang out across the hall. “No, she cannot remain.” Evelyn turned to see Morrigan walking towards her. “‘Tis time for little Evelyn to return home. As much as I should like to keep the trinket for myself, I cannot abide to be forced into remaining in that wretched tower any longer.”

Alistair narrowed his eyes. “Yes, Morrigan, the rest of us whole-heartedly agree. We cannot abide your joyful presence any longer either.”

Morrigan ignored Alistair’s quip. “Tomorrow we will begin our work with the amulet. It will take time before we are ready. Although I cannot promise the desired result, I will do what I am able to see you safe. In return, you will destroy that pendant and all pieces of the remaining amulet, the notes and be sure that nothing remains.” 

Evelyn nodded.

Alistair steered Evelyn and Cullen away from Morrigan. “I had a small dinner planned, but if you would prefer to be alone, I would understand.”

Cullen replied for them both.  “I think the distraction would be welcome, your Majesty.”

The three walked away leaving Morrigan standing alone. “So you will just leave me standing here then, will you?” she asked.

“Yes!” Alistair called back over his shoulder.   

Cullen squeezed Evelyn’s hand and motioned with his head towards Alistair.  “Your Majesty, if I may.”

Alistair sighed. “Yes?” He sounded like a petulant child who’d been caught.

“I believe it would be rude to exclude Morrigan, as she has agreed to help, after all.” Evelyn offered.

Alistair huffed and hung his head. “Fine. I’ll agree but only because you asked so nicely.” Alistair turned around and yelled down the hall. “Morrigan, Evelyn had extended an invitation to join us. Do what you will.”

Morrigan slowly walked towards them arms crossed. “I can see that even after so many years as king, your manners have not improved. You might consider working on better behavior.”

“What would be the point of that, Morrigan? It’s so much fun this way.”

___

Once all the pleasantries were finished. The conversation deepened to various stories and legends.

Fenris had said little through most of the evening, until Evelyn had asked him if he recalled stories from his time in Seheron.

Fenris watched her through narrowed eyes.

 _I am he who brings the night upon you._  
_I am the dark harbor for the ship of ruin._  
_I am the immortal avenger, the judgement in the darkness._

Cullen’s face twisted in recognition. He answered what Fenris had begun.

 _I would bring the strength of a thousand souls to bear on your enemies._  
_Here I shall take my last stand; with each breath I shall meet death._  
_My eternal struggle shall crumble the strength of an empire; in your name an army of one._

Fenris stood and pushed his chair away snarling. “Where did you hear that? Think carefully.”

Cullen placed his palms flat on the table and looked at Evelyn. “Evie. She made me memorize it, she told me it would help me to find purpose.”

“Purpose?” Fenris spat. “How does a pampered noble from the Free Marches learn of the Fog Warriors?” He slowly moved around the table gaze locked on Evelyn. “How can any of us be sure that this is not a trick?”

Evelyn closed her eyes to think. She spoke quietly not fully confident of the thoughts swirling in her mind. _Because I died. Evie is just the shell kept alive through magic and a willing spirit._ “Because when I charged the pendant, the magic caused an explosion. I died or did not wake after the accident. Vivienne kept me alive using a spirit. I had thought it was a spirit of Command, but perhaps it is a spirit of a vicious, angry assassin.”

Cullen stood abruptly. “Stop saying that, Evelyn. You are not dead!” He gestured wildly, pacing as his breathing quickened.  “This conversation is over. I am taking you from here tonight. We’ll leave whatever remains of Thedas to the wolves.”

Alistair sat back in his chair. “I am afraid I can’t allow that, Commander. I understand your need to protect Evelyn. However, I believe the decision to stay or go is hers alone.” Alistair did not move. “Evelyn, what will you do? Do you wish to leave or will you work with Morrigan?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think!


	5. Us and Them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen struggles with Evelyn's behavior. Skyhold speaks in whispers of abomination and possession. Cole waits in the garden with possible answers.

Ch. 5 Us and Them

Cullen sat in a chair next to Evelyn’s bed. She’d been sleeping far more since Leliana returned with Divine Victoria. Vivienne had hovered like a mother hen for the past week, but Cullen was finally able to be alone with Evelyn. He held her hands in his and cringed as he felt the cuts on her hands. _You should have stayed awake. You could have stopped her. This is your fault._  Cullen blamed himself for sleeping that morning, he should have known the Evelyn would try to placate Dorian and help him.

He seen her thrown against the wall just missing one of Dagna’s many devices lined up in the Undercroft. Cullen and Dorian had not been seriously injured. It was Evelyn who had suffered the most. Potions, salves and magic had been tried. Dorian had worked continuously to find a healer gifted enough to assist. All who came tried every remedy but nothing could revive her. With each passing day, Cullen sunk into a deeper depression as he blamed himself for the incident.

During the second week, Evelyn had opened her eyes. She yelled at Cullen to negate the magic fields around her. She claimed they hurt. When Cullen explained that he could not Evelyn turned her anger towards him.

_“Cullen, this is a simple task for even the most junior Templar. Explain to me again why I still tolerate your presence? Tell Bull that if his little pet mage is trying to push me again, I will send Dorian to the mines with the others.  Now leave me!” Evelyn raged._

_“Ev, you should get up and move around. I’m worried about you, love.”_

_Evelyn laughed. “Love? Really Cullen, I would have thought by now you’d get the point that I don’t want you. Never have. You were an amusing distraction, but you’ve failed me far too many times. I thought I told you I wanted you out of my quarters.”_

_“Evelyn, where is all this coming from, I don’t understand.” Cullen was distraught at Evelyn’s obvious intent to hurt him deeply._

_“That’s the problem with you Commander. You don’t ever seem to understand. Stop calling me Evelyn. I hate that name. Evie. Why is that so difficult for you? I can see it is true. The most intelligent thing about Fereldens are their dogs. For the last time, Commander Cullen. Get out!”_

Cullen was still disturbed by the events of the past few weeks. He’d not slept well since the accident and his concerns increased as each time Evelyn would wake as it was evident to him she was not herself. He was consumed with thoughts that were simply not possible. He’d told Leliana and Cassandra that there was something off about Evelyn, but they dismissed his concerns. It was Leliana who suggested contacting the Divine at first. Divine Victoria had many contacts from the Circles and might be able to find the answer.

During the third week, Evie’s demeanor began to change. She was less hostile to everyone except Cole. He was forbidden from coming anywhere near her. Leliana had moved him to a room in the Templar’s tower.  Cole had expressed serious concerns to everyone over the dark face of the Inquisitor.  The Templars took great interest in Cole’s discussions about the Inquisitor as the rumors of the strange personality changes took root throughout Skyhold. Cullen dismissed their concerns as a head injury, even though he was beginning to have the same thoughts. _Abomination. Possessed_. If Evelyn was lost, he would be the one to free her. He would dismiss these thoughts as they found him day to day, but in his solitude he could not entirely let his fears dissipate.  

This was the fourth week of Evelyn or Evie’s illness. Cullen sat in his usual spot now that he was able.

Dorian took the steps to her room slowly. He and Cullen no longer spoke privately, no chess games to pass the time, no political arguments. The events of the past month had ended their friendship.

Dorian spoke to Cullen’s back. “Commander, we need to talk. Actually, Cole and I need to talk with you about a pressing concern.” Dorian stood on the stairs not venturing near.

Cullen’s head fell forward. “Dorian, not now.”

Dorian pursed his lips _. Do not force my hand Cullen. I do not want to show you what I suspect._ “Commander, I know you do not trust me, but I assure you, this is critical. Cole cannot enter here, and he has requested my help.”

Cassandra and Leliana pushed Dorian out of the way.  “Cullen, please.” Cassandra started. “This is serious. The Divine is not herself. We need you to come with us.”

Cullen did not face the others. “Leave us alone.”

Dorian slipped between Cassandra and Leliana. Cassandra tried to grab Dorian but missed. “Dorian, please. If you are wrong . . . “

Dorian shifted his body in Cassandra’s direction. The deep anguish on his face clear as he spoke plainly to her. “I have failed but once and it caused this.” He gestured to Evelyn’s bed. “I am certain of what I have shared with you.” He dropped his voice low. “If you do not want a handful of Templars in here threatening to take a life while her lover looks on - _this is necessary_. He stands near the edge of ruin. Will _you_ push him there? Let him see and decide.”

Dorian moved next to the bed. “You brought this on yourself Cullen. You should have listened.” Dorian pulled a strange magic field around him. Cullen watched in horror as a faint white mist formed around Evelyn. He stood abruptly as the field lifted a form from her body. Her back and legs arched unnaturally.  Cullen fell several steps backwards.

He watched as the form took shape, a tall male. As Dorian pulled the field around him the form shuddered and Evelyn dropped back to the bed.

“What have you done to her, Dorian?” Cullen turned to Cassandra.  “Cassandra, do something, please. Dorian must be stopped.”

Cassandra shook her head. “Cullen. That is not Evelyn. Leliana and I came here after a brief meeting with the Divine. Victoria is very confused and upset. But she insists that this is not the Inquisitor. Evelyn told her things that are not possible.” Cassandra placed her hand on Cullen’s shoulder. We need to remove her to a secure place, Cullen. Allow us to care for her and protect Skyhold. Please Cullen, follow Dorian to the garden.”

Leliana nodded to Dorian. He in turn spoke to someone on the stairwell. Cullen watched as Bull entered the room and picked up Evelyn gently and carried her down the stairs.

Cullen glared at Dorian. “What happened to Evelyn? If this . . . _abomination_ is not her, then where is she?” He covered his face in his hands. Cullen pulled them away slowly revealing the cold stare of a man who had been pushed too far. “This is because of that amulet, isn’t it Dorian? That thing is not my Evelyn. You brought it here.” Cullen moved closer to Dorian. “You had to pull her into your experiment. Do you even know where she is?” Dorian did not respond.

Leliana stepped in between the two men. “Commander, I know how you feel. We are all very upset, but right now, we must figure out what to do. Cole believes he can help. Please. We can discuss who is at fault after we get the Inquisitor back.”

Cullen could feel the rage rise inside him. Instead of firing back at Leliana, he closed his eyes and thought of Evelyn.  The smell of herbs and flowers, her teasing smile whenever he wanted to be serious, the softness of her skin. _The softness of her skin. But Evelyn’s hands were scarred, deep cuts several years healed. That creature was not Evelyn._

Cullen opened his eyes and looked at Cassandra. “Her hands are scarred, at least by several years. Evelyn’s hands are not scarred. How is it possible? Are there two of her?”

Dorian spoke. “Not in the traditional sense Commander. I believe this Evelyn was thrown here as much as our Evelyn was sent forward in time. The anchor proved too powerful for the amulet and the explosion created a time rift. Evelyn is there, while whomever that is currently headed to the cells was sent here. Now, you may use me as a training dummy after we find a way to get Evelyn back, but until then we need you to help, Cullen.”

“I see. Where is Cole now?”  Cullen asked Leliana. He would push away his fear. He would do that for her.

She answered. “Cole waits in the gardens. Dorian and Cassandra will go with you. I need to be sure Vivienne is  . . . comfortable.”

Cullen left Cassandra and Dorian standing in the Inquisitor’s quarters as he took to the stairs several at a time moving towards the garden. He cut through the main hall and through the doors leading outside. Cullen had no difficulties finding Cole. His hat lay on the ground and Cole rocked back and forth on the inner portion of one of the wall sections.

“Cole, can you hear me?” Cullen asked softly. He knew that in dealing with Cole, Evelyn had cautioned him to be gentle as though talking to a small child.

“Evie is cold. Lost in mist and fog. She waits to strike. Why can‘t I see her? He has already won. That’s why. Do not free Evie.”

Cullen tried to comprehend. “Evie is not here Cole. There is someone who looks like her, but it’s not Evie.”

Cole took Cullen’s hands. “Scars, they are not hers. Then whose are they?”

Cullen nodded. “Yes Cole, Evelyn has scars-“

“No! That is Evie! Evie! Evie and not Evelyn. Do. Not. Forget. She is trying to push me out. Evelyn is not here.” Cole rocked harder.

“Evie? Is that who is here?” Cullen asked. Cole nodded. Cullen continued. “Can you find Evelyn?”

Dorian and Cassandra hung back allowing Cullen as much time as he needed.

“Cole. I am sorry to ask you this, does Evelyn still live?” Cullen choked back the sob he felt rising in his chest. _Blessed Andraste, do not take her from me._

“She is not lost. She is in between here and there. I can’t find her here, but she is not in the Fade. I am searching for her there.”

Cullen stood still as Cole’s rocking intensified and his hands gripped Cullen’s with a strength that surprised him.  Then as quickly as it had begun, Cole stopped rocking. “She is not alone. There are many who are out of place with her. Lyrium dust. Dalish Cheese.  She’s lost her son. That’s why she helps. I don’t see him clearly.” Cole started to rock again. “Cullen, you, me pretty lake. _Humor me._ I’ll keep it safe.”

 _The coin?_ “Cole, does Evie have my coin?”

Cole shook his head. “She despises all of us. She plots. This is a fractured memory you refuse to let go. You failed me, Cullen. The lyrium, the mines, what’s a few miners? I don’t care if it addles the mind of every last one of them.  The Divine demands results.”

Cassandra gasped. Cullen turned to look back at her. “Vivienne? Cassandra is she responsible?”

Cassandra shook her head. “We do not know. Leliana has her scouts working on it. We have no news of a flooded lyrium mine, no mass use of lyrium dust. None of the woman‘s claims can be substantiated. She tried to order Bull to put Dorian back in chains and to detain you. He of course did neither. She is currently locked in the cell area. I will say that she is off limits to you, Cullen. That is not Evelyn and I would sooner see you sent away than be subjected to her. Divine Victoria is quite ill after questioning this “Evie”. I will not see you subjected to the same.”

Cullen tried to let go of Cole’s hands. Cole gripped them tighter, looking into Cullen’s eyes. “You need to get to Denerim. You need to be in the tower. Leave now.” Cole began to rock again. “Cullen, I can set this right, if you let me go.” Cole continued his voice even and controlled. “I give that chance back to the man I was and pray that he will always be worthy of you.” Cole sighed. Then his breathing quickened, and a frantic voice cried out from Cole.  “No, Cullen! I love him, not who you have become! I have to get back! Cole’s grip began to hurt Cullen’s hands.  The frenzy in Cole’s voice grew. “Cullen? Stop! Maker, please Cullen! I can stop this. Let me go, please! No, don’t! Alistair! Hawke!” Cole stopped.

Cullen gasped as the courtyard went silent. He felt his knees give way and the sorrow he had choked down before punched its way through his chest and into the courtyard. _Evelyn!  What is happening to her?_ Cullen prayed but he did not know if he was heard. He hoped somehow she could be protected. _Protected from me._

Dorian’s heart broke as he watched the Commander fall to his knees. Cole let his hands go and knelt in front of him. Cassandra had never seen sorrow like this.

 Cassandra looked at Dorian. His tears met hers.  

Cole shook Cullen to awareness. “She lives. She is trying to get free of him and back to you.”

Cole stood and moved to Dorian’s side. “You and the spymaster will need to take him to Denerim. A ship perhaps.”  Cole leaned in to whisper to Dorian. “The witch will help on her side but you must pull her through.”  Dorian nodded. The change in Cole’s voice confused Dorian.

“I must rest.” Cole said. “I did not expect to feel this way. I could not leave her there. I am sorry my friend. Thank you for your help to set the timeline to where it belongs. I shall not forget this.”

Dorian grabbed Cole’s shoulder. “Cole, who was that just now?” Dorian asked.

“I tried to help. I hope it helps.” Cole said as he walked away.

Cassandra wiped her face. “Would you help Cullen? I will find Leliana and get you on your way. Leliana will know the fastest way to Denerim. She will also get you in to see King Alistair.”

Dorian nodded. He turned away from Cullen and whispered. “Will you leave our guest where she is?”

Cassandra shook her head and put her hand to her chest to indicate she would take care of Evie. “Cullen, we should prepare. Dorian will help you to leave immediately for Denerim.” Cullen stood with Cassandra’s help. “I will have Bull come here to assist.”

Bull’s voice cut through the garden. “I’m here. Cole said I was needed.”

“Help me take the Commander to his rooms. We depart for Denerim.” Dorian said.

Bull and Dorian supported Cullen as he tried to walk on his own strength back to his room. Cassandra always had some personal affection for Cullen and Evelyn. Cole’s final words terrified her. Had Evelyn been in danger from Cullen? This had to be the reason Cullen collapsed he believed them as well. Cassandra would remove Evie as soon as the party had departed. She rushed to find Leliana.

___

Leliana was not in the tower. Cassandra saw her walk from the door to the cells and walk across the courtyard. She gave chase in time to figure out what Leliana must have been doing.

“She is gone?” Cassandra asked.

“Yes, both. I thought it best to prevent anything from coming to fruition.” Leliana said.

“Both? Leliana are you saying-“

“Hush, Lady Cassandra. The Divine left hours ago or so my logs read. Why she left without an escort I cannot say. I suppose I should send out a small contingent to see her safe. I have a group out on an errand for me now, when they return I will send them out again with all speed.”

“Our visitor has also disappeared. Although I believe she is on her way to Denerim, is she not? Cole said I would find the Inquisitor there.

Cassandra did not react. Leliana did what needed to be done. Vivienne could have been the cause of all this, but then again, she had been pushing the Inquisition to support stronger reins on their Templar allies. Perhaps there was some truth to this Evie’s tales.

“You are certain this will not come to light, Leliana?” Cassandra asked.

“I am sorry Cassandra, what are we speaking of now? I seemed to have lost the conversation somewhere along the way. I should prepare and send a message to King Alistair of our impending arrival. I will use one of Josie’s contacts to get us near Denerim on a ship. That should cut time down a bit to maybe two weeks, at least we can avoid stopping and encounters along the way.”

Leliana continued up to the tower and left Cassandra standing alone with her own thoughts.

___

“Evelyn, are you all right? Hawke, can you help?” Alistair asked. Cullen had not hurt Evelyn, only tried to leave with her against her will. Fenris and Hawke had been able to block the escape attempt.

Hawke checked Evelyn for injuries. “She’s fine, Alistair, just a little shaken.”

Cullen had been forced to leave Denerim under guard. He agreed to head back to Skyhold even though he knew to do so meant he was in danger. Cullen had been allowed to speak with Evelyn before he left.

_“I will take every last one of them down before I see you hurt Ev. Just find a way back. I am so sorry, I couldn’t – I just wanted to-“_

_Evelyn kissed his cheek. “I know. She looked in his eyes and blinked slowly. He smiled, but instead of returning the gesture he spoke softly to her. “And I you. Live well, my love.” With his parting words he left._

She’d slept the better part of the following day, to where Alistair had become concerned she would not work with Morrigan on the amulet.

He wandered around the castle in thought. When he returned to the receiving hall. He found Sera lounging in the large chair he used. It was not a throne, just a large chair although he wondered if it was just a bit too imposing when receiving others.

“You did good Cheese King, with Cullen. He’s just a mess and it’s not his fault.” Sera said, she did not move as she lay across the chair head off one end and two gangly legs hanging down on the other.

“Did well, you mean?” Alistair asked.

“What? Good, well, I mean whatever, right? This whole things just a big hairy arse of a mess, innit?”

“There’s a question somewhere in there, but I’m not sure what it was.” Alistair replied. “Perhaps you’d be more comfortable in another chair, Lady Sera?”

Sera snorted and laughed. “You’re funny Cheese King. ‘Lady Sera’. HA! Nope, just Sera. That’s me. Sitting here talking to his royal kingliness, or whatever you’re called.”

“Alistair is fine. I wasn’t always royal you know. I was, I mean I still am a Warden. Just the Hero of Ferelden, my wife, set me here. I wouldn’t mind being ‘just Alistair’ as you say.” Alistair sat down on a bench nearby. “I had to be the king she saw in me. I’d prefer to just live quietly somewhere else.”

Sera sat up the chair. “Right, I remember now. The blight in Denerim. I was here, but then I got out. You did that. You’re all right, for a king. Shame what happened. I mean your brother right? That was just wrong. Who does that? Breaking a family like that, it just makes me mad. You know?”

Alistair smiled.  “That seems like a very long time ago, Sera. But I know what you mean. I wish things had been different. But this is where we are now right?”

Sera shifted again in the chair. Her feet straight up in the air and her head upside down. “You should try this sometime, ok not like this but look at everything right now. It’s sort of all not right and messed up, right? You can see that it’s not all tits and flowers. Sometimes everything just falls into a mess. There’s good too like warm cookies, pretty eyes and tangled bits but you take the messed up parts to get to the good ones. At least, I hope that’s how it works. But I think you get what I mean.”

“As scary as it may sound, you make perfect sense. In a sort of turned around, messed up kind of way.” Alistair smiled again. Sera spoke her mind, as mixed up and absurd as it may sound at first, she was right.

Sara laughed again. She had this odd laugh, somewhere between a bleat and a repeated chuckle. “Ok, now you’re just talking crazy. Good chat though, your kingship. Can I ask you something?”

“Anything, Sera.” Alistair said.

“I’m starving, where can I get something to eat?”

“I’ll show you. Sometimes, it’s good to be king.” Alistair said. He offered his arm and Sera stared at him. He picked up her arm and looped it through his. “This way, my lady.”  

Sera snorted and laughed. Alistair continued. “You know Sera, I once knew a Qunari who loved cookies.”

Sera answered him laughing. “Really? I know one who likes a hot chocolate drink. Qunari are weird like that. Not like us.”

Alistair walked Sera down to the kitchen.

____

Morrigan paced in Evelyn’s room.  “I am quite finished with your pity sleeping, Inquisitor. Wake up. We have far too much work to do, and Cullen‘s departure was inevitable. It is a matter of time before Vivienne comes down from her tower and tries to stop us. She will simply take you and start over and keep the pendant for herself. I cannot allow that.”

Evelyn responded but did not open her eyes. “Morrigan please let me be, I will help you soon.”

Morrigan’s nostrils flared and she grabbed Evelyn’s wrist. “Listen to me. You are the only other person who remembers Kieran. This perfect disaster of yours took my son from me. If you do not move, I will find a way to take that pendant from you alive or dead. I would prefer to find the solution and send you home so that I can have Kieran back with me. So choose Evelyn. Will you wake now or shall I help you to the Fade?

To be continued . . . 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed to add the scene with Sera and Alistair to help balance out the scenes in Skyhold and then Morrigan's tease with Evelyn to set up the next chapter. 
> 
> Kudos are great, but I love to hear your thoughts. This chapter was hard to write given my love of the Commander. Leliana has removed the Divine and Evie. Let me know what you think!


	6. Any Colour You Like

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this musical Interlude, the players ready themselves for what is to come. Cullen, Dorian and Leliana are on their way to Denerim as Cole has instructed. Cullen must decide if he will continue to withdraw or if he travels to get Evelyn back. 
> 
> Evelyn and Morrigan try to recreate Dorian's experiment. Time is running short. Cullen will face the full force of the Divine's Inquisition when he arrives at Skyhold, branded a traitor. Concerns abound as King Alistair learns that the Divine has disappeared and the people of Thedas are afraid of what is come. Evelyn must succeed in returning home to end this timeline.

Ch 6  Any Colour You Like

Morrigan and Evelyn worked persistently to find a way to recreate Dorian’s experiment. A few days shy of three weeks, Evelyn was losing faith that she could ever return. “This isn’t working Morrigan!” Evelyn knocked over a chair in her frustrations.

“You are confident you are recreating every motion from that day?”

Evelyn rubbed her eyes. She hadn’t slept well in days. Cullen would return to Skyhold in another day or so. She had to figure this out before he arrived there. She knew he would suffer when everything was discovered. “Yes, as I keep telling you, nothing is different!” _Except Dorian is not here._ “Dorian. That’s what is different. Dorian must have added something of his own. Where are his notes?” Morrigan and Evelyn had parchment strewn everywhere. Evelyn had taken her frustrations for the past weeks out on everything around her. They began to search through the piles.

Word had reached Alistair on the disappearance of the Divine.  Varric’s latest letter only speculated what might have happened; he also cautioned that without proof he was of the opinion that a certain songbird had helped things along. The Crows in Antiva insisted they had no such contract and the House of Repose mere offered its congratulations to whomever had succeeded _if_ such a thing had been done. _Honorable assassins. None willing to admit who was responsible._  The people were concerned with the rumors. Was Thedas heading to another Blight? The strange lights from Fort Drakon at all hours did not help dispel the fear that another breach was imminent. 

Evelyn had not yet been successful and Morrigan had sent word that the lady was not sleeping well and pushing herself towards ruin.

Alistair hoped to convince Evelyn to rest. He’d sent Hawke to bring her back to his study that afternoon. He was saddened when he saw he saw her. Evelyn’s face was drawn, her eyes red and tired. She managed a weak smile when he greeted her. “Lady Evelyn, don’t you look . . .”

“Like death?” She offered.

“I was going to be diplomatic. I thought I would say, just a bit tired.” Alistair pulled out a chair and gestured for her to sit. Dinner had been set for two. He pushed a plate towards her and poured her a cup with water. “Please, Evelyn. Sit with me for a while.”

Evelyn fell into the chair and picked at the plate.

“Now I expect you to eat something, young lady. I specifically bothered Cook myself, just for you. My efforts should not go unappreciated. I do think I frightened the poor woman; although it is my home isn’t it? She screamed when I stuck my head in the doorway. Am I really that scary?”

Evelyn shook her head. “I hate to remind you of this but you are king and this is the royal palace, if you will.”

Alistair feigned confusion. “Wait a moment. I’m _king_? Really? No wonder then . . . imagine that. Me.  King.” He smiled slightly waiting for Evelyn’s reaction.

Evelyn laughed despite her fatigue.

“At least I got a laugh from you. That means there is still hope that you haven’t become Morrigan’s little minion. Evelyn, you need to rest. Even Morrigan is concerned, and perhaps that’s what worries me most.” Alistair continued. “Josephine and Sera safely arrived in Kirkwall. Varric will take them the rest of the way to Antiva and then Tevinter. Sera is a very interesting person. I enjoyed talking with her quite a bit. She helped me remember not to take everything so seriously.”

“Sera is always good to help you remember what’s important, even if you have to decipher what she is truly trying to say.” Evelyn smiled. She would miss Sera. Another person who deserved a return to her life.

“In a few days, you’ll try again. Hawke will help Morrigan with whatever additional magic is needed. Hopefully, with both of them you will be able to continue your experiment. I have another option for you to consider. You may stay here, with me. I can’t offer you more than my friendship, but I can keep you safe.” He offered.

Evelyn was touched by his suggestion. “I have to try, Alistair, you know that. You of all people know I have to try to get back. If it were Elissa?”

He sighed. “I’d give my very last breath to find her.”

Evelyn nodded. “I would do the same for Cullen. I hadn’t realized that until recently.”

Alistair regarded Evelyn. He knew how she felt quite well. Elissa never left his thoughts.

___

Dorian watched as Cullen leaned on the rail on deck. _He hasn’t moved. He won’t talk to anyone._ “All right, I’ve seen enough, time to get rough.” Dorian said to himself.

Dorian approached Cullen. “Commander, I have seen enough of this. If you wish to take a swing at me I will sacrifice my face to your state of mind.”

“There is no logical reason to hit you Dorian. Evelyn is an adult. She is free to make her own decisions. Wrong or right, she would always stand firm once she made a decision. I have and will always respect her resolve.”

“Cullen, I believe in Cole. He has no possible reason to mask the truth. He told you that Evelyn is trying to return to you. That must have meaning to you, to believe that with everything she is experiencing every hardship and task set before her is, in her existence, a way to return to you. You would do well to remember that while you wallow in melancholy.”

Cullen did not respond.

Dorian continued. “Unfortunately, I cannot sit here and watch the Commander of the Inquisition’s Army sit and moon like a pup who’s lost his master. While you’ve retreated into your despair and where the blame must fall, I overheard that the Divine has disappeared along with Evie. I don’t believe it for a second, mind you. The disappearance, that is, and I wonder what that steel trap of a mind you possess thinks of all this. The mystery is that when we left Skyhold, there was no such news, now suddenly at sea we learn what is happening? I haven’t seen any of Leliana’s feathered creatures. I tell you, there is something strange here and you’ve the right mind for figuring this out.”

Cullen felt the familiar yearn to examine the problem in front of him. “At first thought, I would say it was Leliana or Cassandra. I would go with Leliana. More than likely the deed was done before we departed. If I truly look at this, Cassandra would never risk her reputation by taking them out. Leliana on the other hand is. . . “

Dorian thought for a moment. “Frighteningly devious when necessary; or perhaps strangely cryptic and sneaky or would you prefer ‘not to be trifled with’, Commander?”

Leliana chuckled behind them. “If you must know, I prefer ‘not to be trifled with’, Dorian. Although I have no recollection of any dealings with the Divine or whomever this _Evie_ may be. The Inquisitor is at Fort Drakon and I’ve been asked to deliver you both there. That is what I am doing. Any questions?” Both men shook their heads. “Excellent, we have some time on board, there is a chess board that can be set up for your use, Commander. Might I suggest sharpening your skills while you have the chance? I believe Evelyn has you beat almost two to one when it comes to victories.” Leliana nodded once and walked back below deck.

"I really do hate when she just appears like that, it's unnerving, to say the least." Cullen rubbed the back of his neck. “I believe Dorian, that all three of your observations are correct when taking Leliana into account." Cullen paused. "I should apologize for my behavior of late. I have been rude and cruel and you . . . have remained . . . my friend. I am truly sorry.” Cullen offered his hand.

Dorian looked at it and shook it firmly. “For a kiss, all will be forgiven.”

Cullen shook his head and smiled. “Not a chance Dorian.”

Dorian laughed. “Come on then, it’s time to see how rusty you are. I promise not to cheat for at least the first game.”

____

Evelyn had rested for several days. She found a renewed sense of strength that morning as she climbed to the top of the tower. Hawke and Morrigan would be after her shortly to continue their work. She took the few precious moments left to her to enjoy the sunrise.

When Evelyn reached the top floor, she was surprised to find it unlocked, but ventured out into the morning light.

A voice greeted her. “You really are more clever than I ever gave you credit, my dear.”

 _Vivienne_. She sauntered towards Evelyn, each step dripping with disdain and annoyance.

“Oh come now, you really should have thought this through, darling. Did you _truly_ believe that I would just sit there in that ridiculous little temple and wait for you to destroy everything I’ve worked for, everything that I’ve planned so magnificently? Now, be a good girl and go get everything I’ll need. I’ll be taking you with me of course. Hurry along and I may share a way to save your languishing little Templar. You should know my dear that he has been tormented since he returned to Skyhold. I daresay by now he would be almost unrecognizable to you. What baffles me is that he has refused all offers of help. He simply waits and endures, for what I have no idea.”

 _He waits for me to end this timeline to free him._ Evelyn was not going to give Vivienne what she wanted. Vivienne was a powerful mage. Evelyn would have no choice, she would have to face her and hope that help might come.

“Now, Evelyn! I am not going to ask nicely the next time.” Vivienne scornful gaze found Evelyn resolute.   

“No, Vivienne. I will not help you. Do what you will.”

The first wave of ice froze her. She felt the air around her thin and evaporate. Evelyn could not move, she could not breathe. Evelyn could feel the urge to breathe in and the burn in her lungs begging for air. Within a moment or two the ice was gone. Evelyn gasped and bent at the waist.

“Now, playtime is over, my dear. The next time I will not be so kind. Run along and fetch everything now, Evelyn.”

Evelyn knew Vivienne could not kill her. She needed the anchor and could not be sure it would work without Evelyn. “You can’t kill me Vivienne. You need me.”

Vivienne stared back. “Perhaps. What I can do, my little darling, is make you suffer.” Vivienne prepared to cast her next volley. Her face melted from anger to confusion.

Evelyn could see it. Nothing happened. She turned behind her. Alistair stood in full armor behind her.

“I hate it when mages do that talking thing and it just wastes time. If they’d just done what they’d wanted to instead of talking –“

“Alistair! You might want to, I don’t know restrain her or something? How long can you disrupt her magic?” Evelyn asked as she ran to him.

“Long enough to give you these. Elissa’s spare blades. I couldn’t get to yours and get here. Fenris is on his way, I left him finishing off her guard. Hawke and Morrigan are on their way up.  Now let’s end this, Evelyn!”

Vivienne was seething. She’d been delayed by an aging king. Her usual composure was breaking down. “Isn’t this quaint?” She spat. “Ferelden’s aging bastard king thinks to best me with the help of the failed leader of the Inquisition?”

Evelyn tested the blades in her hands. They were not weighted, Elissa must have preferred slicing to jabs. Evelyn adjusted her attack plan. She looked back at Alistair and smiled. She took off at a solid sprint and sliced at Vivienne’s right arm. A red line pooled into a round stain on her robe. Vivienne staggered at the pain.

Alistair set several more enhancements around Evelyn. She had no armor to speak of and it was true, his abilities were fading. He saw two blurs pass in front of him. Hawke and Morrigan stood just in front of Alistair. “You should move inside. We will finish this.” Morrigan said.

Alistair smirked. “I didn’t know you cared, Morrigan.”

“Don’t be an idiot, Alistair, just move!” She quipped and joined the fight. Vivienne had regained her strength and was firing wildly at the party. She’d erred by choosing the top of the tower for her point of attack. It allowed her to be set upon on all sides. Evelyn spun around Vivienne and sliced again up her back. Vivienne staggered forward. Morrigan sent volley after volley of spirit magic which only served to push Vivienne back into Evelyn for another hit. With each turn the Vivienne would make Evelyn matched her preventing her escape. Evelyn’s tactics , however, made her a harder target for Morrigan to miss.  Evelyn had been hit several times by both Morrigan and Vivienne.

“Morrigan, you keep missing! Stop hitting Evelyn!” Hawke yelled using healing magic whenever he had the clear line to do so.  “They are moving around a little, Hawke! Tell them to stand still and I shall not hit her. Just heal her!”

He grumbled and moved around to a different vantage point. Morrigan pulled a fireball and held it. Evelyn caught sight of what Morrigan was about to do and prepared to roll out of the way. Morrigan unleashed her attack. Evelyn knew that this could end it if she could grab Vivienne as it passed her.

Evelyn gritted her teeth and prepared for the pain as she lunged for Vivienne at the same time the fireball connected. Through searing pain she grabbed Vivienne by the neck and held Elissa’s blade to her skin.”

“This is over Vivienne.” Evelyn choked and gasped, with no armor she was winded from the blast.

“No, it isn’t, dear. You don’t have the strength to run me through.” She said.

“You’re right, I don’t. That would be too kind.” Evelyn sliced deeply into Vivienne’s throat. She whispered in Vivienne’s ear. “Even this is too fast. Void take you.”

Evelyn dropped Vivienne to the ground and walked away. Alistair called Hawke to him. His voice low, he gave his orders. “Not one hair, understood? She was never here. Take care of it.” Hawke nodded.

Alistair left Hawke and Morrigan to their task and caught up with Evelyn. She did not look at him. “Thank you for these. Elissa is a remarkable woman and fighter. It took me a few moments to get the feel of them. I need to get this filth off me, then I want to try again with the pendant.”

Alistair sighed. “Evelyn, tomorrow you may start again. Rest for now, please. You've done Ferelden and Thedas a great service, my friend. A rest is in order.”

Evelyn heard the pyre flame ignite behind her.

___

Cullen had found some peace on the sea voyage, even though he despised sea travel. It was much the same when he journeyed to Haven from Kirkwall, he never went below. Cullen’s renewed sense of calm helped him to regain his strength. He’d stowed his armor and changed into a simple tunic and trousers. If it was true that Evelyn waited for him in Fort Drakon; he would meet her as himself, not as the Commander of the Inquisition. They would arrive in just moments and be at Fort Drakon within hours. Cullen’s thoughts were consumed by concerns of Evelyn’s feelings towards him. She’d been through so much, could she look past everything that had happened? He resolved to be there for her even if she would not stay with him.

Cullen was barely aware of the ride to Denerim, the audience with King Alistair and the climb to the top of Fort Drakon.  Now he would wait for her.

___

Evelyn met Morrigan and Hawke atop the tower. She’d not slept well and she was anxious to try again with the pendant. Hawke and Morrigan reviewed all of Dorian’s notes and believed that between the two of them, they might be able to add the additional fields Dorian possessed.

Morrigan had a hook fashioned by the armory, it was exactly what they needed. The length of a standard pike with a base at one end so it would stand free and a hook to allow ample space around the pendant. The pendant hung free.

 Evelyn held out her hand and began the same slow push she’d used before. The green light pouring into the small pendant felt right to her. Evelyn could see that a rift opened around the pendant. She said nothing. She had to keep feeding it, making the rift larger. She remembered that she actually pulled back instinctively to protect Cullen and Dorian and guessed the action is what must have actually caused the rift to open fully. Evelyn warned Hawke and Morrigan to prepare and break away when she attempted to open the rift.

___

At the top of Fort Drakon, Dorian felt a strange surge of magic. He tried to follow the source. Cullen wandered around taking in the location of the final battle with the Archdemon of the fifth blight. Cullen felt a shift in the air around him. He focused his eyes on a point of light where there should have been nothing at all.

“Dorian! Look at this!” Cullen called out. As he waited the light grew.

Dorian joined Cullen and marveled at what was happening in front of them. “Yes, that’s it, remarkable. Come on Evelyn. Keep at it.” Dorian said quietly. “We should give the rift room to grow.”

Cullen took several steps backwards, but his eyes never left the growing point of light.

 _“Now!”_ A female voice came through the opening.

Dorian watched as the rift opened a little more, green light pouring out. Dorian could see it would not last long. Evelyn needed to come through immediately.  

Dorian and Cullen stepped closer. Cullen could see Dorian struggling. “What can I do?”

Dorian was using every last bit of strength he possessed. “Call to her, damn you! I’m losing the rift!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On the original recording of Dark Side of the Moon, Any Colour You Like is largely instrumental. That's essentially what you have here, pieces moving into their places and tiny lines shoring up as we near the end. 
> 
> Please, your thoughts are welcome. If you don't like something, be gentle, but let me know. I'm not happy with the fight scene, never wrote one with three mages it lacks something.


	7. Brain Damage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen tried to remove Evelyn from Denerim but failed. Alistair attempts to convince Evelyn to complete the experiment and return to the man she left behind. In his persuasion, King Alistair reveals far more than he intends about his beloved in hopes that Evelyn can move on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter involves loss, lyrium addiction, major character deterioration and emotional distress.

Ch. 7 Brain Damage

“Cullen, open your eyes. Please. Cullen, if you can hear me, open your eyes.” A voice said.

“Ev? Finish this please.” Cullen’s pain was too great. He tried to recall what happened.  

_“Evelyn, I beg of you. Leave with me now. I can take us somewhere far away from here. No one will find us. ”_

_Evelyn was afraid of this. Cullen was not going to allow her to return where she belonged. He was losing the battle against the lyrium in his body. What if Evie was doing the very same to him now? She could not save this Cullen here and now, but she could save everyone if she could get the pendant to work._

_“Cullen, I can set this right, if you let me go.” Evelyn touched his arm. Cullen grabbed her wrist and held it tight._

_“You loved me once, or was that all a lie? Evie lied to me too to get what she wanted. I gave her every last piece of my soul. What will you take from me Evelyn?” Cullen’s anger fed his venomous tongue. “What is left of me when you finish or do you plan to kill me as she did? As they will when I return? You would condemn me to death for a possibility that you might succeed?” He could see the fear in her eyes. He let her wrist go and kissed her hand. “Forgive me, love. I see that I am already lost.”_

_“No, Cullen. I can make this right.”_

_Cullen scowled. “Say it Evelyn. I can make this right for him. I am jealous of the man I once was because you do not love me as I am now.”_

_Evelyn fought back tears. She would not lie. “You’re right. I love him, not who you have become. I have to get back, Cullen. There is more at risk here than your feelings.”_

_Cullen’s anger took control. “It’s only my life Evelyn. I have risked everything for you. I have betrayed what I helped build for you. What kind of a man does that make me? What more will you have of me, Evelyn? Since you will not see reason, my love, I must help you. We leave. Now.” He took her arm without anger, but held tight._

_“Cullen? Stop! Maker, please Cullen. Don’t do this. I can stop this. Let me go, please.”_

_He pulled her towards the gate, sword in one hand, Evelyn in the other. He did not drag her, nor was he violent in his intentions. He led her around guards, past sentries and moved towards the main gate. “Evelyn, I will protect you, but we must hurry before these people find you and take you from me.” Cullen continued his push towards the front gate. When they reached the main hall, Cullen stopped. He looked at Evelyn in confusion. He was looking around taking in his surroundings. “How did I lead us here? I need to help you out of this area, my lady. It is not safe here. Where are the others?”_

_“Maker, no.” She whispered. “Cullen? I’m safe here. We’re in Ferelden, not in Skyhold. Cullen, listen to me please. Cullen?” The tears fell as she watched him fade from her. “My love? Do you know who I am?”_

_“My lady? Perhaps you are confused. I do not know what a Sky hold is, Kirkwall is lost, you cannot remain. I am afraid you must have me mistaken for someone else.”_

_Fenris approached slowly so as not to startle Cullen. Hawke followed._

_“Kirkwall? Cullen, we are in Denerim. Cullen, look at me. What is my name?”_

_Cullen looked beyond Evelyn and saw Fenris and Hawke. “Serrah Hawke, we must salvage what we can of Kirkwall, but I must get my lady to safety.” Hawke approached Cullen. “Serrah Hawke, you should return to the Gallows and look for more survivors. My task is to see the lady to Hightown.” Hawke nodded to Fenris and left the hall to get more help._

_Fenris extended his hand to Evelyn. She tried to pull away from Cullen and reached out to Fenris._

_“You should not interfere with a Templar in his mission.” Cullen said._

_Evelyn’s heart sunk. Hawke and Fenris had warned her of this possibility. The doses of lyrium dust Cullen was ingesting were increasing daily. He would lose this battle soon. Hawke had cautioned her to appeal to the strongest part of Cullen should he hallucinate. She knew that his sense of duty was her only hope to bring him back._

_“Forgive me, Cullen. She pulled away from him and wiped her tears from her face. “Cullen, you left Kirkwall and joined the Inquisition. The conflict between the mages and the Templars. You left the Order for the Inquisition. Do you remember?”_

_Cullen shook his head. “The Inquisition?” Cullen dropped Evelyn’s arm and took several steps._

_Fenris reached out for her, but Evelyn avoided his grasp. “Yes, Cullen, the Inquisition. The Conclave, the Divine?”_

_Cullen returned his sword to his side and grabbed his head. “The Divine? There was an explosion. The Breach in the sky.  I remember! There was a woman. She….who was she?”_

_Evelyn’s sadness almost prevented her from continuing. She gathered her strength and tried to reach him.“Commander Cullen! You would dare to insult the Inquisitor? Are you the Commander of the Inquisition’s forces or not!?_

_“ No, I  am a . . .Inquisition? The Inquisition. I serve at the discretion of . . .Evelyn? Something is not right. I can’t remember what I was- my head, Evelyn. I need to get to . . .I’m scared. I don’t know where. . . I. Evelyn, help me.”_

_Cullen collapsed to the floor._

_“No, don’t go! Alistair! Hawke!” Evelyn cried out. “Help me please!_

_It was Fenris who proved most moved by Cullen’s condition. Lyrium dust was poison.  Hawke explained to Evelyn lyrium dust was never meant to be ingested by a non-mage; and he had exhausted all of his knowledge in magic and herbalism to nurse Cullen to be well enough to travel. Fenris argued with Evelyn in one corner of the room while Hawke sat with King Alistair to discuss their options._

_“Listen to me carefully, Alistair. Cullen is beyond help. He can make the journey back to Skyhold; but there is a larger problem. Once he arrives, he’ll have a week or two to survive. We’ve given him so much lyrium, he won’t feel pain until it wears off in between doses. It will be excruciating and he won’t be able to recognize his surroundings or many people either. You can stop all this.”_

_Alistair shook his head. “No, I can’t.”_

_Fenris and Evelyn had argued late into the night; point and counterpoint thrown as punches across an otherwise silent room, Fenris pleaded for Cullen’s release. Evelyn refused. When Hawke and Fenris attempted to include Alistair in their bid to end Cullen’s madness, the King continued to remain silent._

_Alistair needed to retreat to the quiet of his own rooms, but as he walked near Evelyn he stopped and spoke to her. “Letting go is worse than accepting death. Believe me. Every swish of a dress in the hall, every joyous peal of laughter rings in my ears and forces me to find the source. Listen to me, Evelyn. I don’t feel her loss, so I must believe that she is there somewhere searching for a way for us to be together; but in her absence there is nothing but loss and I am alone with only the memories of her scent, her laugh  and her skin. Don’t do that to yourself. Look at him. No more lyrium, Evelyn.”_

_Evelyn sighed. “I can’t let him go.”_

_Alistair took her hand in his. “My dear, this is not your life. You mourn for a man that you never should have met.”_

_“Please, you don’t understand.” Evelyn said._

_“Are you saying I don’t understand, Evelyn?” Alistair frowned. “Let me tell you what each day is like for the man you left behind. He wakes each morning hoping he lives a dream, that he will reach and find you sleeping where you should be.” Alistair did not wish to continue, but he knew he must. Elissa was gone, he had no way of knowing if she would ever return. Evelyn had a good chance at being reunited and returning where she belonged. Alistair continued. “Evelyn, he listens to the silence eager to find he is wrong about your absence and you will call to him breaking his solitude. The madness of not knowing your fate plagues his thoughts.”_

_“Your Majesty, Alistair, please do not do this to yourself.” Evelyn pleaded._

_“No, Evelyn. You will hear me this time. You have the power to stop this pain for Cullen. Just as Elissa does for me. She does not return to me and I don’t know what I have done wrong. So listen to me now.”_

_Evelyn felt her own eyes tear in the pain reflected on Alistair’s face. She knew that he blamed himself for her disappearance._

_Alistair bit back the tears he knew would soon come. “I promise you Evelyn when he stumbles upon your treasures or even a discarded trinket on a shelf, he sits and clutches this meaningless item because you have held it and touched it and he sees you in the memory. When he is alone he buries his face in your clothing and desperately clings to the scent of you imagining he is held within your embrace.”_

_“Alistair, it is not the same. I will fix this timeline. I need to fix things here first.”_

_Alistair held up his hand. He would not entertain any excuses. “I want you to imagine the resounding emptiness in his chest each night when he looks to the night sky and prays that you are safe as he tries to reassure himself aloud how this will all be over soon.”_

_Evelyn held on to her anger. She knew he was right. Cullen would do all of these things and more if he thought she was gone. As would she._

_Alistair took Evelyn’s hand in his. “His arms have all but forgotten how it feels to hold you and his hands have lost the memory of your skin. The sound of your voice eludes his ears even now and he chastises himself for his failure to hold on to your laughter and your sighs.”_

_“Alistair, I am so sorry. I did not mean to insult you.”_

_Alistair squeezed her hand and let go. “No you have not. I am afraid I must apologize. I have little choice but to get involved. Cullen will leave in two days. You will start your work with Morrigan at that time.” Alistair did not wipe the tears from his own face. “I face all I have explained to you and more. When you end this timeline there will be no reprieve for me, as your King Alistair shares the same pain. Remember that.”_

_____

Cullen opened his eyes and took in his room. Evelyn slept in a chair nearby. He stirred and tried to sit up. The bed groaned under his shifting weight.

“Cullen? You should rest, love.” Evelyn hovered over him and ran her fingers through his hair. “Maybe a bath soon too.” She smiled.

Cullen struggled to recall the events that led to this moment. “Evelyn, did I . . . are you injured? I admit my mind is a little unclear. I need to get back to Skyhold.”

“Skyhold has been empty for years. We’re home, love.”

Cullen quickly hid his confusion. “I’m sorry. I forgot where I was.  Home.  I love how that sounds.”

Evelyn kissed his nose. “Don’t be afraid. It’s ok to forget. I’m here. Your family is here. We’re in Wycome, Varric helped us find the house years ago.”

“Wycome? Right. How could I forget?” Cullen attempted a smile. “Forgive me, it’s the lyrium. I’m so sorry, Evelyn. You deserve better.”

Evelyn smiled. “Not this again. Cullen, I knew what could happen when we married. We talked about this. I don’t care. When we left Denerim and disappeared with Fenris’ help we both knew the consequences. Your journal is there on the desk to help you remember. Just breathe. No one is judging you, love.”

Cullen sat up and looked around. The room was to his tastes, simple uncluttered. The only items out of place were a few toy blocks on the floor. “Evelyn! Where’s Hayleigh!”

Evelyn ran in the bedroom. “What’s wrong?”

“Hayleigh. Our daughter’s name is Hayleigh.” Cullen smiled at the recognition.

Evelyn directed him back to bed. “You need to rest.  Are you sure you want her in here? She’s more than a little wound up this morning.”  

He nodded and settled back into the bed. “Please, Ev. I’m all right.”

Within a moment or two, a dark head of curls appeared at the foot of the bed. Cullen pretended to snore. He heard a tiny snort and a giggle. Then he yawned loudly and stretched dramatically. Another giggle. Cullen pretended to sleep. He heard Hayleigh breathing in front of him and then he heard her voice. “Faker.” She giggled again. Cullen reached out and grabbed his daughter and hugged her.

The peals of laughter from father and daughter brought Evelyn back to the bedroom. “Hayleigh. Not too long, now. Your father isn’t feeling well today.”

“Ev, I’m fine. Just a little tired.” Cullen said. “I’m much better now.” He looked at his daughter. Hayleigh was a little copy of Evelyn. Beneath a mess of dark curls, hid two deep brown eyes. “I know that Hayleigh is under those curls somewhere. Where are you, sweetness?” There was no response. “I know! If I just press here.” Cullen tickled Hayleigh’s side. She erupted in laughter.

“There you are!” Cullen hugged his daughter. She touched her little nose to his.

“Are you ok?” Her small voice asked softly, she was only four, but she knew her father was sick.

 “I am. I promise. I just feel tired today. Don’t worry. I love you, sweetness.” Cullen kissed her forehead.

Hayleigh wriggled free and knelt on the bed. “I love you more!” She said and copied her father and kissed his forehead. “You don’t feel good. Stay here.” Hayleigh ran out of the room.

Cullen knew his daughter was right. He could feel the fever rising. It wouldn’t be long before he would need to sleep. Rather than fight, he closed his eyes.

____

When Cullen opened his eyes again, the room was dark. “Ev? Hayleigh? Where are you?”

The room felt different, less warm and much larger. Cullen thought he could hear the rustle of fabric or perhaps it was his imagination. He stilled himself and waited.

“Evelyn? Where did you go?” Cullen pushed himself to sit up. Pain greeted him with an intensity he had not felt before. His arms ached. His head pounded with each heartbeat.  Even the slightest movement brought searing pain.

“Evelyn? Help me, what’s happening to me?” Cullen cried out.

A cool fabric met his fevered forehead. He reached for the hand helping him and felt gloves.

“Evelyn. What happened? Where am I?” Cullen asked.

“Commander Cullen. It is Leliana. Can you hear me? Evelyn is in Denerim. You are in my tower.”

Cullen’s injuries began to spur his memories _. Bull and Blackwall did this to me._ _This is Skyhold._

Cullen struggled only making his pain intensify. Through gritted teeth he cried out to Leliana. “Where is Evelyn? What have you done to Hayleigh! Where is my child!?!”

“Hush. Cullen, you have no children. I swear on the Maker’s light, Cullen. It must have been a dream. I would not lie to you. I have helped Evelyn throughout this. Please, calm yourself.”

Leliana explained that he had arrived eight days prior. He arrived alone. She had tried to prevent the injuries inflicted upon him by keeping him drugged. It was a risky plan.  The only way she could help was to increase his lyrium dosages to mask the pain. Leliana explain that Cullen was due for another massive dose and his fever had prevented her from administering the lyrium causing the intense pain he now experienced.

“I can help you if you wish, Cullen, speed you to the Maker’s side? But I won’t unless you ask me to help. You deserve that much.” Leliana offered. “I regret what you had to endure. There have been many changes here. Dorian and Cassandra are all that remain. Blackwall and Bull have not returned since yesterday. I cannot say where they may have gone; but know that I am deeply sorry for what you were made to endure and I have tried to make amends. Will you allow me to help you?”

“No. Evelyn will release me.” Cullen replied. His eyes closed as sleep once again claimed him.


	8. Eclipse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter of Dark Side of the Moon.
> 
> "And all that you love/And all that you hate  
> All you distrust/All you save"
> 
> " and everything under the sun is in tune, but the sun is eclipsed by the moon."
> 
> -Eclipse 1973, Roger Waters. Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon

When Evelyn pulled back on the Anchor the time rift opened enough for her to pass. She heard voices through the rift, but the words were too muffled to understand.

Alistair stood watching Evelyn. He’d been serious about his offer for her to stay. Love would never be possible; Elissa took his heart and ran away many years ago; but he could offer Evelyn a safe place to call home. Alistair had never expected he would be alone; in truth Leliana was a friend, but she had always remained distant and Varric was just a past acquaintance. Morrigan had simply appeared in Denerim and that was the first he had seen of her in many years.

She would not stay. Evelyn’s devotion to Cullen and the people around her would never allow her to give up her quest. His hope for Evelyn was to never lose sight of what was most important; Alistair knew that a quest with nothing to return to is unsuccessful. _Maker turn his gaze on you, my friend._ He raised his hand to her and then left the summit to wait for her to release him. 

Morrigan pointed at the pendant. Evelyn nodded once and stepped closer.

“Evelyn. Could you get on with this please? I’m not sure how much longer I can keep my magic up and princess over there has a tendency to overshoot her target. I’d prefer not to fry standing here.” Hawke said. “Make sure Evie stays gone. Do not give her an inch.”

“I’ll find her, don’t worry.” Evelyn said.

“No, you misunderstand me Evelyn. Never let her out. Believe what you want, but she is a part of you too. Trust me. I’ve seen what hatred and anger does to someone. Now, Inquisitor, go.”  

Morrigan glared at Hawke. “Do not hesitate Inquisitor, now is not the time for contemplation.”

Morrigan was right; this timeline had to end. Evelyn took another tentative step towards the rift. She knew no matter what happened in the next few seconds pain would be a factor. She reached, grabbed the pendant and jumped into the rift. She hit the ground hard and winced as she fell; something had thrown her off balance. _The blades!_ She’d not given them back to Alistair.   _Why had she wore them that morning? He didn’t warn her she still had them! He had to have known._ Evelyn was unsure how she would explain any of this.

Evelyn looked up to see Dorian smiling down at her. “It’s about time! I was thinking you’d be lost all over again.” He laughed and clapped his hands together. “You did it! You truly did it. I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy at being proven wrong. It is splendid to see you again, my lady.” Dorian bowed. Evelyn brought her hands up to lift herself. “Dorian, you could help me up instead of flattering me, you know.”  Strong hands lifted her from behind and lifted her. She pulled away and straightened her tunic and removed the harness as she ambled towards Dorian. “Thank you for your help.” Evelyn called over her shoulder.

Dorian smiled and shook his head. He put his hands on Evelyn’s shoulders “Perhaps you might prefer to greet _him_ first. Let me take this from you.” Dorian took the harness and blades from Evelyn. “I will guess you won’t need them for a while. We will speak another time.” Dorian pointed to the area behind her.

She turned, realizing who Dorian had pointed out even before seeing him completely.  “Ev?”

 _Cullen_. In her surprise she found her legs rooted to the stones beneath her. She stared. He was different somehow. Brighter. New. He had the same hair, she noted that he needed it trimmed as it was visible on his neck. Was she away for that long? His eyes searched for understanding and when they locked with hers, a blush bloomed on her face. His smile at her reaction deepened the color on her face.

He tilted his head curious why she did not join him. “Evelyn. It . . . is you, yes? Not . . . another . . . you?”

Evelyn closed her eyes slowly and opened them. Cullen smiled and returned their private gesture. Her frozen limbs gave way, and she hurried to him. Cullen’s strides carried him to Evelyn and when he reached for her she stopped him with an outstretched hand.

“Evelyn? What’s wrong?” His face fell. This was not the reunion he envisioned.

The man she left bore horrible scars with deep rivers of cuts on his hands. She remembered his skin so marred it cracked - she needed to see his hands. Evelyn recalled when he had shown the skin on his back when she’d first arrived in the other timeline, she’d felt the pain  inflicted on his skin; a resting place for Evie’s anger and aggression - with strikes, gashes and deep crevices of pain enacted as payment for his failures.

 Evelyn took his hand and examined it. No cuts, no scars. She explored his perfectly callused hand from years of writing and weaponry. Evelyn traced each of his fingers with hers as she turned his hand over and over. She put their hands together and laced her fingers through his, captivated by his warmth and strength as he held her hand.

Cullen held his breath as her touch awakened sensations he thought would never return.  He tried to speak, but he recognized that he would stumble and stammer on his words as he tried to comprehend what entranced her now.

She finished her veneration of the one hand and appraised the other to find it the same - flawed, yet perfect.

“Evelyn, say something, please.” Cullen whispered his plea, not clear on her intentions or her obsession of contact while he struggled with the growing need this basic touch invoked in him.

Evelyn fought the urge to tear his tunic away and chase her fears that his back would be disfigured. This was Cullen before her.  She understood what Alistair had shared with her; the slightest touch of her fingers would ignite a memory. Her fingers traced his temples and brow and she smiled as thoughts of lazy mornings and tangled limbs sharing far away thoughts and dreams filled her head with happier times.

She placed her palms against his face. He inhaled and spoke as he exhaled with his eyes closed. ”I’d forgotten this.” Her thumb wandered to his lips and he left a whisper of a kiss on her thumb.  She shivered as the touch of his lips on any part of her sparked memories of days and nights and stolen moments in darkened corridors.  

Evelyn took a step backwards. She wrapped her arms around herself and tried to focus again on her promises to those she left behind.

“I promised I would set things right.” Evelyn said. “Where is Evie?”

Cullen looked at Evelyn dumbstruck. The shock of her pulling away snapped him back to why he stood on the tower summit.

“Cullen. This is critical. I need to find Evie and Vivienne!” Cullen took her hands in his.

“Listen Ev. Leliana has eliminated any trace of the problem.” He continued. “What you must remember is that your head injury caused such confusion, that you could not remember certain information. You arrived in Denerim ahead of us so the best healers could aid in your recovery.  There will be endless questions, but you will prove you are the Inquisitor. Do you understand?” Evelyn nodded.

Cullen’s control returned. After everything she had been through, he would not push her.

Evelyn’s tension returned as they descended the tower and returned to the royal palace.  “Ev, my fingers - could I have my hand back?” Cullen shook his hand but smiled at her. “You should rest. Allow me to show you your room.”

“Cullen? Please, you don’t have to go.” She tried not to show her rising desperation.

“I’m afraid I do. I will see you in the receiving hall when you are ready.” He kissed her forehead and showed her into her room. “Until later, Evelyn.”

Evelyn’s confusion turned to uncertainty. Cullen was affectionate but guarded and it disturbed her. Maybe too much had happened for them to continue together.  She’d often wondered if there was a future for the two of them and now she wanted a chance to build that future, but it may not be possible.

Evelyn would set aside her needs and focus on the Inquisition. Alistair’s help would be required for the plans to be set in motion, but she hoped to rest before speaking with him.

Evelyn looked through her room. Someone had made it appear that she had been here for days; clothes, shoes and her packs all left in her room. She found it curious a dark blue gown hung near the dressing table. It was not hers.

“The color is his favorite, he loses himself in your eyes.” Evelyn jumped at the voice. She looked up to find Cole.

“Cole! You’re here! How did you get here?” Evelyn did not move towards him as Cole did not react well to affection.

“I came with Dorian and the Nightingale, I had to fix what I heard. I was wrong. He didn’t hurt you, I was wrong, and I made it worse. I didn’t know! I thought I could help you forget if it would help.”

“No, I need to remember. I would ask that you offer Cullen the same. Would you do that for me? If he wants to forget, help him.” Cole left her alone.

Evelyn closed the door. She looked through the clothes and found Cullen’s mantle. Just a cape, but she loved to bury her face in it when she was in his arms. Evelyn pulled it free and covered herself in the memory and smell of him as she fell asleep. If he chose to forget her, she wanted this time alone.

Dorian and Cullen waited for her in the receiving room. Evelyn still had not shown herself after several hours.

“There is something wrong, Dorian. Evelyn should have joined us hours ago” Cullen moved to leave and ran into Cole.

“She wants you to know it is all right to forget.“ Cole said.

Dorian held his reaction in as best he could. A small gasp escaped him. _Evelyn, what have you done?_

Cullen did not miss Dorian’s reaction. “What is she doing, Dorian?” Cullen left Dorian standing with Cole as he moved towards the doorway.

Dorian talked to Cole. “Cole, did Evelyn leave?” Dorian asked. Cullen picked up the question as he exited the room.

Cullen wondered if she would leave without him; even after everything he saw, he still doubted in their future.  When Cullen reached their room, the sight of her inside renewed his faith.

He found her in bed, draped in his mantle. The door closed behind him and he called to her. “Evelyn. Ev?”

He watched as her chest rose and her breath caught. “Evelyn, look at me, please.” He pulled a chair next to the bed. “Maker’s breath Evelyn, are you . . . are you leaving me?”

“No! You didn’t. . . I thought . . . because of Evie.” Evelyn caught the sob before it left her.

“I traveled on a ship to come for you. A ship, Ev. I hate sea travel. But I had to come, I had to try. I was so afraid after what Cole said in Skyhold, I thought - but none of it matters, does it?”

“No, it doesn’t. “ She replied.

“I missed you, Ev. Nothing is as it was, but it’s not wrong either.” 

Cullen wanted to kiss her. He stopped and smiled resting his head on hers. “The first time I kissed you, remember? Evelyn, I did not want to think about what I was doing. I wanted you then and I find myself in the same place now. I can’t say if the time is right or even if I should, but I want to.”  He watches her for some small sign he should leave. Evelyn sits in his lap and then everything changes.

___

He holds her without speaking. His face a mere breath away from hers, she waits for his kiss.  He speaks instead turning his lips towards her ear. His voice resonates through her murmurs her name before his lips brush her earlobe. She gasps, not at the touch but from the hope he will continue.  He pauses for a moment, listening to her breathing as it quickens, her fingers grasping at his shoulders pressing him to continue. Her mind wanders as his nimble fingers free her clothes until she feels the cool air on her bare skin and Cullen placing her on the bed.

He is gentle with her. Each kiss, each caress joined by soft words and promises.  He tells of his visions of her and how he prayed for her return to stars each night.  His careful fingers lead a slow exploration as he promises endless days. Rolling her nipple in his rough fingers, he chases his touch with a light kiss. He whispers to her skin of its absence against him. The brush of his rough whiskers on her soft skin brakes her silence. A soft moan escapes her as he drops his face to her breasts she pleads for him to take her. He smiles into her skin.

Tracing her hands across his chest until she finds the trail of hair that begins just below his navel, she searches for him. Cullen groans when she finds him. She is unsure how or when but delights in his warmth as he enters her. She moves beneath him until she hears him groan. He moves slow and steady until she adjusts allowing her to take even more of him.

She calls his name again in need. A soft, deep rumbling sound answers her as he finds complete joy in her demands. He waits; answering her pleas in a slow torment. His movements are deep and deliberate.   He whispers her name in his release. Once spent, he pulls her to him and her body responds. Her breath catches. He knows what follows and continues to move inside her. He savors her release as she pulses around him. Cullen slows even more relishing the bond between them. Here in this moment of clarity he believes she is home.

__

Evelyn woke the next morning, the memory of the previous night haunted her. When she opened her eyes, there was no sign of Cullen. His clothes gone and her belongings sat on a chair. The mantle she used as a blanket and the gown she saw were not in the room.  _It must have been a dream._ She walked in a daze towards the baths, wondering how she could have mistaken her night with him as real.

When she finished. Her daze continued as she started her daily walk towards Alistair’s private rooms. He would be in his study in the morning. Evelyn stopped when Dorian walked towards her.

“Survived, I see.” Dorian said smirking.

“Dorian? I’m confused. How did you get here?” Evelyn asked.

“You are so adorable sometimes. Perhaps this will help your memory. Because of my, shall we say minor lack of humility, a big explosion sent you away. Cole told us to grab a little boat and come to Denerim to collect you. Cullen sulked. You popped out of a hole in time and here you are. And then instead of taking tea or dinner or what have you with your Ferelden king, you and the magic loins of Ferelden disappeared and did not return!”

 _Magic loins._ “Dorian, play nice.” Evelyn laughed. “It was real. I thought I imagined. . .”

Dorian joined in her laughter. “Quite the imagination, dear Inquisitor.”

“Dorian. The pendant?” Evelyn’s concerns on its use disturbed her.

“Pulverized. Cullen took care of it while a group of us watched the destruction early this morning. Evelyn. Please let me apologize. I understand it’s not enough. But I will return to Tevinter tomorrow, and I wanted you to believe me when I say I intended no harm to you.” Dorian frowned. “We haven’t always agreed, but I would like to remain your friend.” Evelyn stepped into him and hugged him. “Hugging. This is strange. Not that I mind or anything, but it is not something I am used to.” Dorian returned her hug. “I’m so sorry.”

Evelyn let go and smiled at him. “Dorian, stop apologizing. Let me smooth things over with his Majesty. Once my obligations are met, I’d like to leave here.”

Dorian nodded and continued on his earlier path.

Evelyn arrived at Alistair’s private rooms and waited to be announced. She reminded herself that she was not as familiar with this king as she had been before her return.

“Well, Evelyn. I am pleased to see you as always. Although, I am feeling quite neglected. You come to visit me, at least that was the plan; and then it all fell apart somewhere. Then there is the matter of these.” Alistair uncovered Elissa’s blades. “I thought these blades were lost. Where did you find them?”

Evelyn tried to find the best words to begin. “Let me try to explain.” She began her story.

____

Cullen searched for Evelyn. Their room was empty and he could only assume she met with the king. He could not deny that his renewed desires for Evelyn were overwhelming as was his preoccupation with her safety.

Leliana required his help in preparing to return to Skyhold. Cullen was usually meticulous about planning and preparations. Leliana’s frustrations pushed her to ask him to let her continue alone. She had much to coordinate in Denerim and she could not follow Cullen to be sure he was completing the tasks she asked of him.

Cassandra, it seemed would take over as Divine Victoria. The Chantry’s decision to keep Vivienne’s disappearance a secret had worked in their favor. It was not without disagreement, but the decision to move forward to protect the people and the Chantry itself was vital.  Leliana was confident in Cassandra’s continued support of the Inquisition.

Cullen learned that Evelyn had been in the king’s study for several hours. He’d found the royal wing easy enough and waited to enter.

Alistair finished listening to Evelyn’s tale.

“Evelyn. You are asking more of me than I think I can give. None of these things you shared have happened. I still don’t understand how Elissa’s blades came to you. When she left, she forgot this spare set I had commissioned for her. I have a vague recollection of tossing them in a storage room somewhere after years passed without a single word from her.” Alistair dropped into a chair. “I tried to find them and couldn’t. I haven’t touched a single item belonging to Elissa since then.”

“Your Majesty – “

“Evelyn, please. You are one of the few people not _sort of_ related to me that I want to use my proper name. Please I’m Alistair, all right?  I’m a little unnerved so forget that I am king and talk with me.”

Cullen stood just outside the study. Alistair waved him in but he stood at the doorway while Evelyn spoke.

“Alistair, when I was . . . there, you convinced me to try again to return by telling me how my absence was effecting Cullen. But it changed as you shared with me what Elissa’s absence did to you as well. You told me about forgetting how it felt to hold her, the memory of her skin and even the sound of her voice. You told me about praying to the night sky for her return.”

Cullen recalled sharing the same thought with her when they were together.

“Evelyn. How . . . ? I told no one.” Alistair looked away from her.

“There is one favor I must ask.” Evelyn needed his help for one final task.

Alistair took a deep breath. “Name it. Whatever you need is yours.”

“I need the Inquisition to end. You can help me. If _I_ end this, people will continue but if _you_ call for its end?” Evelyn hoped that if Alistair could gain support, she would have the means to dismantle everything and give back a chance to live life to her friends and colleagues.

“I see where you are going. I will whine and complain like a good little king and see what I can do. Tegan gets surlier the older her gets. I’ll drive him to push this. I might as well enjoy myself while destroying one of my very dear friends.” Alistair’s sarcasm was not easily missed. “Evelyn are you sure?”

She heard the chair scrape across the floor and footsteps joined her. Cullen spoke. “Evelyn think about what you are asking here. You would subject yourself to this scrutiny? The others would never approve.”

Cullen was right. But if Alistair called for the end of the Inquisition perhaps then those who mattered most to her would be given a chance to choose the road before them.

“Cullen. It’s time. Will you stay? Would you keep this for the others? I would understand if you said no.” Evelyn waited for his answer.

He smiled. “As long as we’re together.” She nodded.

“Yes, Alistair, I am sure.” Evelyn stood on her toes and kissed his cheek. He grinned as his cheeks flushed.

“I haven’t . . . done that in a long time. Thank you Evelyn.” He looked down at the blades on the table. “Would it be all right if I kept these for sentimental reasons?”

Evelyn wanted to promise him she would find Elissa. She wanted to give him peace. She ran her fingers atop the blades “I understand why I had these with me when I left. In the other timeline, he wanted you to have these. It makes perfect sense now. Perhaps since the blades are where they belong, she might-“

Alistair touched the harness. “You should go Evelyn. If you find Elissa please ask her to come home and if she can’t or won’t tell her I . . . just tell her I said ‘always’.”

Evelyn and Cullen left Alistair’s study together. She smiled as Cullen took her hand in his. “I think it’s time we return home. Don’t you think?”

____

Skyhold returned to its routine within days of their arrival. She found that she missed Dorian. Evelyn succeeded in reassuring the Templars and responded to their concerns. Cullen and Josephine worked together to assign all incoming requests for help and reassigning the Inquisitions resources wherever they might be needed.

Evelyn pushed Leliana to extend her reach and use Varric and others to locate Elissa Theirin. Leliana protested at first until Evelyn spoke to Leliana in her quarters.

“You wanted to see me, Evelyn?” Leliana asked.

Evelyn invited Leliana to sit with her. “Thank you for your work during my absence.”

Leliana inclined her head. “I did what anyone would have done.”

Evelyn sat back in her chair and laughed. “Leliana, don’t play games with me. I know of your capabilities and your loyalties. So here is what I am requesting from you.” Evelyn leaned forward and locked her eyes on Leliana. “I don’t care if it takes a year or two or ten. Find Elissa Cousland Theirin and give her a message. If she is unwilling to return home then I ask for a letter in her own hand that will release Alistair from his self-imposed confinement. I respect all she has endured, but he wastes away waiting for her. If she loves him, she will find a way.”

Leliana brushed Evelyn’s edict aside with a laugh. “You assume I know where she is.”

Leliana stood. Without warning Evelyn’s hand snapped to Leliana’s wrist. She tried to wrestle free but Evelyn held firm.  “Allow me to tell you what I’ve learned from my ordeal. I learned how Evie worked. I don’t wish to embrace that side of me any more than you wish to acknowledge it. Do not cast me aside like a novice. Deliver my message. You may stay or go as you please although I would prefer you stay.” Evelyn released Leliana’s wrist.  “Forgive me, Leliana. I am keeping you from your work.”

____

Cole sat in the garden rocking back and forth on bench.

“Cole. Thank you for your assistance. The Inquisitor is where she must be.” The voice came from behind him.

Cole shook his head. “If you hurt her, you are not my friend.”

“Cole, I do not wish to cause any harm. I am afraid- “

“No! I . . . can’t . . . be your friend. I was wrong. I hurt them too much and now you want-“

“Cole.  You can come with me now if you wish. There are safe places for you.”

“No. I will stay and help.”

“I am sorry Cole. Forget I was here, my friend.” Cole watched the leaves twist and twirl in the trees. He did not hear the footsteps retreating in the wrong direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, once again, for sticking with me on this. Hope to see you again soon.  
> Leave a comment, if you like.  
> Find me on tumblr : eravalefantasy.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think? Hating this? Too much? Not enough? I'm really curious.


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